Killing many birds with one stone...

I mentioned on Facebook once that blogging was hard. Really hard. You have a thousand things to say, all disjointed and too different for a single post (hence "random thoughts"), so you start like five posts, then never publish them, and become your own worst enemy and blog badly. I am a bad bad blogger! Bad girl!

And now I'm so behind. I still stand around and think about all these subjects I want to blog about, besides recipes, but there they sit in my posts to be edited, and ugh.

And then... revelation! I have a whole bunch of recipes in my arsenal, that I tried and are waiting for review, and it hit me: do short versions all at once! Yeah, that's the ticket! And that's what I'm going to do! Ladies and Gentlemen, in no particular order, chronological or otherwise, a bunch of recipes!

1. Marbled Chocolate Pumpkin Brownies

I love pumpkin. I love all things pumpkin: pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin butter, pumpkin pie, any kind of pumpkin dessert, coffee, smoothie, ravioli...whatever. I also love brownies, and so these were not going to go unmade. I remember these being tasty, just a tad dry, a little involved for brownies and that I made these quite a while ago and not again since. I didn't move the recipe to my "keep" file either. I would say go ahead and give them a whirl, but also, just try your favorite packaged brownie mix and then just make the pumpkin swirl part (a cop-out, I know, but I didn't find the actual brownie portion of this to be remarkable). Actually you know what? I don't know if it's just because I'm hungry right now and would really love a brownie, but I'm going to move this over to my keep file and try it again.

[ok - I just saw the creepiest commercial with an overweight woman having a conversation with her skinny self about how great she looks. I'm really confused with how that is happening. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.]

2. Leftover Roast Chicken Soup with Roasted Vegetables

So pretty, so nice for a fall dinner, so easy... but here's the thing... you just don't need a recipe for chicken soup. I make my own broth when I roast a chicken for dinner, and if there's not enough (or I get lazy and don't do it), just buy some chicken broth [NOTE: ALWAYS HAVE BROTH ON HAND!]. Now heat up the chicken broth and use it to cook whatever veggies you chop up, or to warm up leftover veggies you're throwing in, add the meat, cook up some pasta or rice and add it. You can't do it wrong. You can come up with whatever version you like and make it your signature soup. In terms of this recipe, it is a very nice combination of veggies and flavorings and textures. I learned how to make broth from my (first) mother-in-law and it was one of the best things I ever learned. Here's just a quick instruction I found from Epicurious in case you need one: Leftover Roast-Chicken Stock

3. Slow Cooker Chicken Teriyaki

So yummy, so annoying. Nothing bugs me more than crockpot recipes that start with "In a heavy skillet..." and end with "Preheat broiler..." Why? Who did not get the memo that Crockpot means: put stuff in, add some liquid so things don't burn, turn on, leave it alone... and voila dinner? Not cook everything in a pan first, put it in the Crockpot, then take it all out, and do more cooking to it. This is what I will say if you make this: brown the chicken if your thigh meat has skin-on, if not forget it, do your sauce like it says so it gets all thick and nice, and don't bother with the broiler. If the chicken is cooked like it should be in a crockpot, it should fall off the bone and it won't matter anyway. But it is really yum... You could use the sauce alone for other non-crockpot dishes also. (By the way, I am not keeping this recipe - it's good, but not so great as to put it in the pantheon of keepers.)

4. Holy YUCK Chicken

The actual recipe here, brought to you by the "Table for Two" blog, is called "Holy Yum Chicken". I have also found it in other places as "Man Pleasing Chicken". I beg to differ on both counts. I don't typically copy and paste the entire text of a recipe, but I am compelled to do so only with the disclaimer that comes with this recipe, not unlike Happy Fun Ball:

"DISCLAIMER:
1. If you don’t like mustard, you likely will not like this dish. 1/2 the recipe’s ingredient is mustard.
2. It will taste mustardy with a nice hint of sweetness! So again, if you don’t like mustard, don’t make this.
3. If you don’t follow directions and want to improvise, that is definitely ok! But please do not come back to yell at me for a failed dish. The instructions are laid out completely below because I have tested it myself and it works the way it’s written below.
4. If you do not use the right equipment it will likely not turn out either. 8×8″ pan means 8×8″ pan. 2 layers of foil means 2 layers of foil. Why? 8×8″ pan will keep the sauce together and compact and won’t cause it to spread out over a large surface area. If you put it in a larger pan, it will spread, therefore, causing the sauce to get cooked off and you’ll end up with dry chicken and little to no sauce. Double layering the foil insulates the sauces and the chicken, it’ll keep the sauce from burning on the scalding hot pan.
5. Yes, it really is cooked at 450 degrees. I’m not going to lie to you. Yes, it’s very high but it also works (proof: above pictures!) :)
6. If you’re using chicken breasts, reduce cooking time to 25-30 minutes or you’ll end up with dry chicken.
7. You may use bone-in chicken thighs. Cooking time is the same.
8. Whole grain mustard is not the same as Dijon mustard.
9. Rice wine vinegar and rice vinegar are the same thing. The names are interchangeable.
10. If you can’t find unseasoned rice wine vinegar, you may use seasoned rice wine vinegar and vice versa."

And now that you've ready that I will again say to you, there was no cries of "holy yum!" and there was certainly no pleased man (and he eats everything). I keep wondering if I did something wrong, but nope. It is disgusting; I think it may actually be un-holy. The texture of the sauce was actually like powder suspended in liquid, too liquidy, too harsh, and smelled kind of nasty. I made it with chicken breast and I ended up scraping and washing off all the sauce and making some chicken salad with it. Don't make it - you won't respect yourself in the morning.

5. Chocolate Covered Strawberry Cupcakes

So pretty, right? Abby had a party for her dance competition team and I offered to bring a dessert, so I looked for something pretty and pink and ballerina-y and I found these. Let me tell you how easy these are. Like I've done with other recipes that just call for a cake, I made cupcakes from boxed chocolate cake mix but did not do any of the modifications here, had Connor help me make chocolate covered strawberries, and then the magic: that strawberry buttercream. Tastes like strawberry ice cream and I swear you could eat it like that - gimme a big bowl. Tip: I ended up using much more puree than it says to use, don't be afraid to play with it. Also, the cake mix I used was too soft and fluffy. The girls ended up eating the cupcakes the next day, and they weren't substantial enough to hold up, so I may try re-making just the cake part as prescribed in the recipe to see if that matters. If nothing else, the strawberry buttercream recipe is worth saving. Oh, and making the pretty swirls of frosting on top looks easier than it is. First, doing that uses way more frosting than you think, and although it looks like it'd be superfast, in order to get pretty, evenly graduated swirls, you need to be less super-fast. Just moderate and steady. I love iambaker's blog, and she has a really good tutorial on it right here (click on the "here"). It uses an open star tip, but you can figure it out.

So - I have more to go, but I would think five's enough to bore you with for now. I'll add in the rest later, AND an update to what happened after "oooo-eeee-oooo part 2". Go read that and part 1 if you haven't, but not alone on a dark and stormy night. Kidding! It's just wierd.

The Most Excellent Cookies & Cream Cake

Easter dessert..hmm...what to make? I like to think of myself as the family dessert-provider for (almost) all occasions. Now, that doesn't mean that I necessarily make everything, I just like to bring it. (And I don't do apple pies - that's my BIL's job; last time he made one Connor consumed his weight in pie.) I am also compelled to have not just one but two, or three desserts, usually 1) something I've wanted to make, 2) something everyone will eat, 3) something my Dad will like. This year was a custard pie for my Dad, a Pavlova with strawberries which I know everyone likes, and the titular Fudgy Cookies and Cream cake from Confessions of a Cookbook Queen. That was the one I had been wanting to make since I first saw it, and why not? Who doesn't love cookies and cream anything?

I don't normally gravitate toward a big chocolate-y dessert, BUT Oreos are perhaps the best cookie ever and that's what got me - that nicely speckled crushed cookie filling... when I was younger and not lactose-impaired and could drink a big glass of milk without later complications, milk and oreos... I think perhaps a whole box of oreos to one glass of milk was about right. I'd soak them until the cookie was almost mushy, but then the filling consistency was still the same...in the words of George Takei: "oohh Myyyyy". Make this I must!

[Note: Can I tell you that I have literally been writing this for weeks... shortly after Easter until... well now it's May 15th. Geez. I apologize for being the most sucktastic blogger ever. Back to the cake.]


There is of course, the actual recipe for the chocolate cake for this. Being pressed for time (and lazy), I used a Duncan Hines Devil's Food boxed mix. Why the heck is that called "Devil's Food"? I have to find out. Apparently, according to Wikipedia therefore it must be accurate, the cake is called so because it is the opposite of Angel Food cake. Alright, sounds plausible enough. I made my cake as 2 8" layers, wrapped it, and put it in the deep freeze.

When I got close to ready to assemble is when I actually made the filling, because I wanted to keep it as fresh as possible, and it's made with whipped cream and I didn't want the consistency to be affected if it sat. I crushed the bejesus out of my cookies. I wanted the cookie crumbs to be as fine as possible, so I did them in the food processor. I also bought the cheapest cookies known to mankind. It's an ingredient in a cake, and kind of minor in comparison with what is to be a lot of chocolate flavor - there's no need to buy the most expensive cookies out there. I would not change a single ingredient in the filling. It's perfect - so very light in flavor and texture and yet substantial enough to use as a filling in a multi-layered cake, and makes a great counterpoint to all the rich chocolate. A word about assembling: since I did not make the chocolate cake as written in the recipe itself, I do not know what the density of that cake would be, but the boxed Devil's Food was so light and moist that it actually didn't freeze as well as I thought. What do I mean by that? I mean that the cake was very cold but still very fluffy and soft. This did not cause me a big problem, and I was able to cut each round into two layers, and still filled easily.

For the frosting, I opted to do a ganache. What is described in the recipe is a buttercream, but I find buttercream to be such a pain in the arse. Ganache can take on a couple different forms. It's very simple - almost equal amounts of chocolate and heavy cream. Put your chocolate in a bowl, heat up the cream, pour on top of the chocolate, and let the chocolate melt, stir it so it all comes together, and voila a nice velvety liquid chocolate sauce. Let it cool and it starts to get thicker. When its very very cool, you can continue to a whip it up and make more of a frosting consistency, but I decided I wanted to just pour the cooled ganache over the top of the cake and I did pick up what fell to the bottom, I used a small spatula (a.k.a. butter knife) and made sure the sides were covered also. And that's it! Done!

Verdict: Deeeelicousness. Everyone loved it and come to think of it, on a difficulty scale the most difficult part was assembly and it was not bad at all. I used boxed cake and it was fine. Changing to ganache - perfectly easy. What's the hardest part? Washing everything. Totally worth making and I wouldn't change anything from what I did, except maybe try the cake (itself) recipe.

So my apologies for this being the longest awaited recipe review yet, even though technically you, dear reader, have no concept of how much time has actually elapsed from start to finish (but it's a lot).

'Til we meet again....

Pork Chops and apple sauce....ain't that swell?

Anyone who knows me knows that I can relate any personal situation to something in a tv sitcom, and here I am showing my unhealthy love of TV by quoting Peter Brady when he was pretending to be a '40's-style gangster. I will now attempt to embed this video:


I did it! Awesome! You know, these awesome things and super-exciting posts are exactly why I am scratching my head in disbelief that I ONLY HAVE FIVE FOLLOWERS. I mean, seriously?! Wow - you five people tell your friends they do not know what they're missing because today we are talking about what? That's right, pork chops... (but not applesauce, I was just putting in a teaser that falls flat, like the evening news previews while you're watching your evening programming).

I once again made a somewhat empty, and undeniably premature promise to post my review of Crunchy Honey Garlic Pork Chops from Just A Pinch. But rest assured that I always come through eventually, although it could be posthumously, so just hang tight! And here I am following up on my promise! They sure do look tasty, and my kids love pork chops, so here's our dinner experiment:

I used 6 very large, 1" thick, bone-in chops. The picture definitely looks like bone-in, but my judgement told me anyway that where this was going through a pan fry and then into the oven, that the bone-in should be a little more forgiving because it tends to have more fat than boneless, which helps it to not dry out so much. Also, for the most part, you'd have to probably pound out, or slice in half the boneless if you had it, since they're usually quite thick. Another thing about this recipe that's a winner - you likely have all these ingredients already: honey, brown sugar, ginger (I used dry), soy sauce, garlic... very basic. Let's get started!

Because my chops were so large I could only cook 2 at a time, and even that was pushing it. I made the glaze right away while the first chop was cooking. There's no need to wait and it's really easy so you may as well get to it. Issue #1 that I had was that my chops were so large that I did not know what to do for the baking dish. You are supposed to use the 9x13. There is no way you'd get 6 regular chops, never mind large ones in that size pan. They will overlap, so if you don't mind that, then ok. The ones I had were so large that I should not have even used that pan. They ended up way too stacked up, even 3 layers at one point. But... I started and the pan's dirty now, so that's what I'm going with. I carefully fried everything so that it's nice and crunchy and follow the instructions for the sauce but I just know that the way these things are piled in the pan, that the sauce will not really glaze up like in the pic. And it doesn't. Really the coating becomes soggy with the sauce. BUT - super tasty.. kids loved it! It was yummy, even though I didn't really want to it eat it (after I've been cooking for a while, I don't want to eat what I made. I know, weird, huh?).

Would I make this again? Yes, and here's what I would do to fix it:
The glaze needs to be cooked longer to be more reduced and concentrated and syrupy. As it is, bringing it just to a boil at the original volume, it's too much in quantity and very wet, not at all like a glaze, and what happens is that it just soaks into that nice crispy coating that you so painstakingly worked at while frying the chops, and pours right over it all to the bottom of the dish. It needs to have some substance to actually cling and coat without making everything soggy. I'd be sure to use a pan or more than one pan, that the chops can all be in an even layer. They are going in the oven for another 20-ish minutes and if the glaze has just all poured to the bottom, and everything's on top of something else, then they will never look like that pic. Also - be sure not to overcook in the frying pan. You are finishing in the oven not just to set the glaze, but to finish the cooking, so make sure you don't have chops that are dry as a bone before you put them in. However, if they were to be so done that you don't dare put them in the oven, I would think that not all is lost - serve them anyway and just drizzle the glaze on. It seems to me that it should be pretty forgiving. The recipe also suggests trying chicken breast, and I could definitely see it working with that, but I haven't tried it. Crunchy honey garlic chicken tenders... now that's an idea. Maybe with cornflakes in the coating? The mind reels....

So since my kids and Bruce really thought this was tasty and ate it all up, yes, I will put this in my "keep" file and try it again with modifications, and I'll let you know how it turns out when I do. Or if you try it, comment and tell me!

What shall I review next...hmm...

She ate reeeeeeeeeeeeed velvet...

Bobby Vinton, anyone? Bueller? Bueller? I'm so lame. Bobby Vinton actually sang about a woman who WORE BLUE velvet, but I promised to do a review of a recipe for Red Velvet Cheesecake Brownies. I found this recipe, cut and pasted it to my "recipes to do" document, and that was that. I didn't get a link, but I can tell you that it came from FoodiesTV.com which has their own FB page. So at the end I will just post the recipe text for you.

Look at these pretties:

They look soooo good, how could I resist? I didn't! I had all the ingredients so I started immediately! One thing I did not have is a "brownie pan". Apparently this is a new-fangled thing sort of like a cupcake pan, but with little squares instead of cups. And I guess you can get paper liners for it too. I did find one of these pans at Target:

They're about $16 and I did think about it last time I saw it and then decided against it. There's a point where you have to just let it go. A pan with little square cavities because you can't be bothered to cut a regular pan of brownies into squares ... let it go and not spend money on another thing in your cabinet, especially one that only has one purpose. The instructions do say that I can use a cupcake pan, so that's what I'm going with.

I have to say that I do not know what this hype over "red velvet" desserts has come from. Red velvet cakes have been around for a long time. The red never came from food coloring, like you see now, but from a reaction between cocoa, buttermilk, and vinegar, which turns the chocolate red. It's where "Devil's Food" cake came from - it wasn't just chocolate, it was nearly red. Now Devil's Food is just a really chocolate-y cake. The red velvet desserts are somehow in-style now, and I supposed it's just visual appeal.

[btw - I don't know when I actually started writing this but it was quite a while ago...probably 3 weeks...so be patient!]

So I made the batter (which was nearly a disaster when I didn't add the chocolate - but I fixed it), added it to the cupcake liners, about 2/3 full, and moved on to the cream cheese mixture. The cream cheese mixture is quite thick, and when I put it on top of the batter in the cupcake tin, and tried to swirl it, I couldn't. It won't move. So, I just continued along because being cupcakes, I didn't think it was a big deal. I put it in the oven, set the timer for 20-25min, and go! 25 min = pretty much raw. 30 min= not much better... this went on and on for nearly an hour. I have checked my oven temp thinking that could be the problem, but it's not. I think you cannot make them as cupcakes. I had to cover them at one point to finish the cooking because the top was getting way too brown. We ended up with tasty, but very chewy (not in a good way) cupcakes.

Verdict: Would I make this again? Actually yes. But I would NOT even attempt a cupcake. I would make this in probably a 9x13" pan (which for brownies I always line my pan with foil, and then spray or follow whatever pan prep instructions, so I can lift the brownies straight out of the pan and cut nicely, and not have to clean a pan). I also would not use the mix as prescribed for the cream cheese component - it's too thick - you can't swirl it, it's just blobs on top of the brownies. I looked up several recipes to see what is typical and almost every single one of them (including Martha's which is hands-down the best cream cheese brownies recipe), and they all call for half of the cream cheese, to approximately the same about of sugar, egg, and vanilla. I would definitely do that. Also watch the cook time - even in the bigger pan, I'm going to guess it's still longer. The batter is sort of "wet" compared to typical brownie batter.

Here's the original recipe with a note recommending correcting the cream cheese amount. Try it and let me know how it worked for you!

RED VELVET CHEESECAKE BROWNIES

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter
2-oz dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp red food coloring
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
8-oz cream cheese, room temperature NOTE: I RECOMMEND 4 OZ OF CREAM CHEESE
1/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350F.
Line one brownie pan/cupcake tin with cupcake liners NOTE: CUPCAKE PAN DID NOT YIELD A GOOD RESULT - I RECOMMEND TRYING A 9x13" PAN
In small bowl, melt (microwave) butter and chocolate together in 30 second increments. Stir until combined and very smooth.

Set aside to cool for a few minutes.
In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, eggs, vanilla extract and red food coloring. Add chocolate mixture and stir until smooth. Add flour and salt and stir until just combined and no streaks of dry ingredients remain.

Pour batter into lined wells.

To prepare cheesecake mixture, beat cream cheese, sugar, egg and vanilla extract in a medium bowl until smooth. Distribute the cheesecake mixture over batter in the pan. Swirl in with a knife or spatula.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, until brownies and cheesecake are set. A knife inserted into the cheesecake mixture should come out clean and the edges will be lightly browned. Let cool completely in pan. ENJOY!

John Legend vs Elayne: Mac and Cheese showdown

Hey y'all...
There are a few things in my "Karen's Book of Cookery" (should probably be "Kookery") that are obsessions for me, and one of those is mac n' cheese. Besides ye olde Blue Box Kraft dinner (btw - the Stop & Shop version is exactly the same and way cheaper. If your kids will only eat the blue box, then save some of those boxes, and pretend it came from there), my go-to benchmark is Elayne's - really simple and yummy, and even I don't need to write the recipe down, so you know it's easy. I'm not giving it away because it's a secret. Well, actually I don't know if it's a secret, but whatev's. But in my search to best it (which is frankly, impossible), I must test other recipes. Some are very good, but different, for example, the BLT Mac n Cheese by Cooking with Sugar made with what, you say - yeah Velveeta.

"Sugar" developed it for Betty Crocker but the link is to the original (you can also find on the Betty Crocker website). My kids are crazy about it, Connor will even eat the spinach happily, but they also know this isn't a mac n cheese that Mommy is going to make very often because our arteries will cease to function.

Then along came Martha. Martha has many mac and cheese recipes, and this new-er one popped up on Facebook - John Legend's Macaroni and Cheese, and looked very very tasty:

So I put it in my "to-do" pile of recipes. Now, I had no clue until very recently who John Legend was, and I know now that he's a musician and singer and that's great, but why he's hanging out with Martha is beyond me. How totally random. But when Martha's involved, I'm in!

I really only needed one ingredient, the Monterey Jack cheese; I had everything else in my inventory. I always keep at least 6 lbs of unsalted butter in the freezer, I always have elbow macaroni because you can use it for just about any quick dinner/lunch thing you want to whip up, cans of evaporated and condensed milks, and shredded cheeses that I buy in the biggest quantity and dole out what I want, and put the rest back into the freezer. Maybe one day we'll talk about my pantry and freezer! Won't that be fun?! The recipe uses minimal pots and pans and what's most interesting is that it does not entail the creation of a cheese sauce. Instead, you boil the pasta, and in a separate bowl you mix up all the liquid ingredients, and then in another bowl, blend your cheeses together. Then instead of mixing everything up before you put it in a baking pan, this was layers like a lasagna - pasta, cheese, pasta, cheese, and end with pouring the liquid all over the whole thing and bake! Well, ok then. And bake you shall.

[Oh my God - I just went to grab a little snack while I'm typing this, and there's a Doritos bag in the cabinet that's folded up, and clipped shut, that has what in it? Crumbs. What the hell?!]

So the concoction comes out of the oven and looks very much like the pretty picture. And it's also underwhelming. It's just not cheesy; it's a very dry mac an cheese, like all the liquid absorbed into the pasta (and trust me my pasta was not undercooked, which could lead to that happening), leaving just sort of pasta with melted cheese in. That also leads to the whole thing quickly becoming a hard glob of cheese with some macaroni welded to it as it cools. Here's the defining moment - the kids didn't like it. That's right, you heard me - the kids did not like a simple mac and cheese. The leftovers were dreadful too, since it became very solid and drier, and I just pretty much forced them on Bruce to take to work for lunch.

Elayne's is simple - has a grand total of 5 ingredients - an American cheese sauce, mix with your macaroni, kablam! Deelish classic mac n cheese. (I add a pinch of cayenne for fun.)

So what do I say about John Legend? Keep your day job. It's not worth repeating the recipe... on to the next mac and cheese challenge, if there is ever a worthy opponent.

How do you say Happy Birthday? With shrimp and cheesecake, of course.

Feb 19th is Bruce's birthday, and with that comes the custom-made birthday dinner. Whatever you want, your wish is my command, the reply to which was "I don't care". Ugh. What is with people?! Lily asked for "some kind of pasta and strawberry ice cream" and this is "I don't care". You all are no help. Or is this some kind of message that you don't actually want me to cook? Well, too bad. That leaves me with carte blanche for dinner, so what shall I do? Bruce's normal birthday dinner would be either Hot Browns or Fettucine Alfredo with scallops, but I decided to pull out a couple of recipes that I had saved in my to-do list: a pasta and shrimp with a lemon cream sauce, asparagus, Caesar salad, and Junior's Cheesecake.

I got the shrimp recipe from the My Mommy Style website for angel hair pasta and shrimp with a lemon cream sauce. Really quite simple and I'm a sucker for lemon anything. Yes, yes I know it's not MY birthday, but, and I quote, "I don't care". So, lemon cream it is!

There's not very many ingredients, which is good. I always have multiple kinds of pasta and garlic and Parmesan cheese on hand, just had to get the shrimp and heavy cream. Prep? Pretty much none - I crushed garlic. I used medium shrimp (about 30 shrimp per pound), deveined and tails off. While you boil the pasta, the garlic gets sauteed in butter, then with the shrimp, and then add in your lemon juice and zest, then finally the cream and Parmesan cheese. It's not unlike how I make my alfredo sauce - it's not a thick goopy thing. It's butter, cream and parmesan cheese, salt & white pepper as you like. And yes, you can saute in some garlic with that if you like when you start melting your butter. So this sauce is relatively light, even for having rich ingredients. Even though I like to use as few pans as humanly possible, I would recommend sauteeing your shrimp & garlic separately from making the sauce. Shrimp cooks very quickly, and a minute or two over, you have these tough little shrunken shrimp circles. Just use a little extra butter (you've already used heavy cream so what's a few more tablespoons of butter) and do the shrimp last. The kids went crazy for it, including Abby who watched me make the sauce and yelled "no don't do that!" when I added the lemon. I would also say - start with one lemon and check your flavor, add more if you like - you can always add more, but you can't take it away, right?

On to dessert: The famous Junior's Cheesecake.

What is Junior's you ask? Junior's is a New York institution that I have never had the opportunity to visit (mostly because I've never gone outside of the NYC limits and the place is actually in Brooklyn) - a restaurant around since the 50's known for their meatloaf, and sandwiches, but mainly for their cheesecake:

The crust isn't really a crust, it's actually a layer of spongecake, and the cheesecake itself is a traditional New York-style - thick and heavy and somewhat dry. They also have a strawberry version, with this macaroon crumb that is pressed into the sides. Once upon a time, I had their cookbook, but the cheesecake recipe was just so labor-intensive, and so were the rest of the recipes, frankly, that I gave the cookbook away. And then I was sorry, because I so wanted to make that cheesecake. It has been like some kind of my own Everest - I knew someday that I had to do it. First I needed to find the recipe again, which luckily is no longer a trade secret. It's right here! I decided I would make the fresh strawberry cheesecake (it's in the pic with the recipe when you click on the link). I had everything for the sponge layer, I had heavy cream for the filling already, and for the macaroon crumb, the jellies for the glaze. I just needed 2 lbs of cream cheese and strawberries for the top. Note that the recipe calls for the real deal. I usually buy the lower fat content neufchatel with no issues using it in baked goods, but I figured I better follow the directions explicitly for the authentic cake.

I wanted the cake to be ready for about 7pm, so backtracking my time for finishing, cooling, etc., I started cooking around 9 - 9:30am. Got the springform pan ready - buttered and covered the bottom and up the sides of the pan with foil. Why? Since the pan was buttered, I didn't want any of the butter (or cake batter that was coming) to start leaking through the bottom. Also the cheesecake was to be cooked in a water bath, so you need it for a barrier. Sponge layer was very easy, mixed entirely by hand. The filling was easy also, the key being to add ingredients slowly and mix slowly as well. If you try to whip it up, you end up with little lumps of cheesecake that don't smooth out. Pan went in its water bath (hot water in a roasting pan) to cook for 1 hour & 15 minutes. I took a look around the one hour mark and the top of the cheesecake looked fairly tan. Hmph. I shook the pan and touched the top a lightly. It's supposed to jiggle just a little - the cheesecake is so dense that it will continue to hold heat and cook a bit after it comes out of the oven; heavy cheesecakes take a very long time to cool. Cook it in the oven too long and while it's cooling, you'll likely get a giant crack in the top. In another 15 minutes, the top was very brown, and it seemed the center seemed about right. I did not like how dark the top was, but I took it out and started the cooling process.

In the meantime I made the coating, which I sort-of had half done - I already had some toasted chopped pecans, and they happened to have a little bit of chocolate in it (that's just a happy accident), so I just toasted some coconut and chopped it and added it.

When the cake was done cooling, it had shrunk down a little but ok. I put the crumb coating and sliced the strawberries and made the glaze. The kids could not wait to get that cake out and have some. (Here comes terrible pic)

We cut into it and... it wasn't properly done. I was so disappointed. The top was really browned and the inside was not dry and dense.. instead it was kind of wet and dense. Thoroughly cooked but more of a creamy cheesecake, not the iconic New York-style that I was really hoping for. I am not happy.

Verdict:

Shrimp recipe - definitely would make again - super simple, fast, everyone loved it. In fact I'd double it - we had enough for dinner and lunch, but the leftovers were a fight of who would get it, and who got the most, and no fair, you had more than I did, yada, yada. That's a good thing.

Cheesecake - I'm so sad. A ton of work for a crappy cake. I'm thinking that I need to replace my oven thermometer so I can double-check it. Did I overmix the batter? I don't know. The spongecake later for the crust is excellent and this one had a slightly lemony flavor (strictly from extract)but it was very nice. Everyone ate the cheesecake anyway and really liked it.

Bruce was sick as a dog, had a really long day, and made his way through dinner and dessert graciously when all he wanted to do was lie down. He and the kids are still eating it graciously; they think it's fine. But I don't think it's fine, and the guilt over his lackluster birthday cake is driving me to make a new proper one and redeem myself. I won't use the Junior's recipe, but one from my "Joy of Cheesecakes" cookbook. (Yes, I love cheesecake so much that my aunt got me a cheesecake-only cookbook for one of my birthdays.) Somehow, I don't think anyone will mind putting up with the burden of eating a new cheesecake.

Chim-Chim-e-ney, Chim-Chim-e-ney, Chimichurri

At this point, I'm attacking my backlog of reviews in no particular order, except for today's, which is what we actually had for dinner today (2/17). I was lucky enough to find flank steak on sale at the grocery store (and even more lucky that there were two left in the store), and so I pulled out this recipe from "How Sweet it is" that I had saved for just such an occasion: Garlic Brown Sugar Flank Steak with Chimichurri, and can I just say, "Chimichurri, where have you been all my life?!"

What a thing of beauty. And it's a dinner recipe. It's really easy to find yourself drowning in dessert recipes, and I had been waiting for any dinner recipe that did not include copious amounts of enticing bubbly golden cheese on top, and here this gem showed up. Awesome! My kids also love steak, so that's a bonus. The dogs do too, but no bonus for them.

The recipe is really simple - marinate the steak, cook it, serve with sauce. The marinade couldn't be easier, and you probably have the ingredients in your pantry already: olive oil, brown sugar, garlic, salt & pepper. Mix up, slather on, put in refrigerator however long you like. No problem - mix it all up in my trusty old pyrex measuring cup. The consistency of the marinade is like a paste of sugar and garlic, so it makes it easy to really cover the steak evenly. Moving on the phase 2: the chimichurri.

I've heard about chimichurri a million times; it seems to be rather popular on Top Chef lately. While the steak was marinating I made it, another super-easy recipe, extra easy if you have a food processor: fresh cilantro, parsley, oregano, garlic, olive oil, red wine vinegar, red pepper flakes, s&p. Whip it up, just like you're making pesto (people who make pesto will understand). Now, this recipe makes a lot of chimichurri - a little more than 8oz., but you can refrigerate it, or freeze it, and trust me when I say you can't eat that much. It packs a punch - you've got raw garlic and hot red pepper flakes, for starters. It's loaded with fresh cilantro, which couldn't make me happier; I LOVE cilantro. I did not use fresh oregano. I didn't want as much as was called for in the recipe, so I increased both the cilantro and parsley, and instead added some dried oregano (about 1/2 tbsp). I made the whole thing in my food processor, rinsed out the pyrex measuring cup, and poured it in there for the time being (and saved using another container).

I marinated the steak for about 3 hours, after which I took off the marinade (just scraped it off with a spoon) and put the steak on my broiler pan. While the steak broiled to a nice medium, flipping halfway through, I made some rice and broccoli; something kind of mild to counter-act the chimichurri.


Thirty minutes cooking time, and dinner is served! I will say that although a flank steak is a great cut for grilling and broiling, rather lean, but very juicy and a nice texture (also good for stir fry), the marinade really didn't impart much flavor. Now, you're going to say "well, you scraped it off, lady". Yes, I did. The recipe did not say whether or not to do that, but in my infinite wisdom, I decided to do that because it is usually not good to either grill or broil something that has that much sugar on it. It would be much too easy to for all that sugar, and the garlic, to burn before the meat was done. Why did I not use the scraped off marinade as a glaze to add right at the end a la bbq sauce? Because I think that's gross, it's been sitting all over raw meat and then you're going to put it on top of cooked? I'm not. Also, the chimichurri has a fair amount of raw garlic in it, and you really didn't need extra in the meal anywhere else. The chimichurri is the beautiful green color, with nice fresh herbs, and is so yummy. In the short time that it sat, the garlic really got stronger and so did the red pepper. Connor loved the smell of it and kept coming back just to sniff it, but of course had his steak with "blue ranch dip" a.k.a. bleu cheese dressing. It is an intense flavor for kids, unless they're used to that. I find in general, kids don't go for a big hit of garlic in any foods. And I also found that they really don't like the smell of the sauce that lingers with you while you're reading to them about 2 hours later. Do NOT have this while on a romantic date, or if you are hoping for any kind of romance later that day, or in the next couple of days. I also think mine should have been a little more substantial body-wise. I would have started with about half of the vinegar and oil that the recipe called for and gone from there, make the acid level what you like, and the oil to herb ratio as thick or thin as you want.

Verdict:
Would I make the steak and marinade again? Yes and No. I would use that cut of meat again, fo' sure. The marinade was superfluous - if you are serving chimichurri, there is absolutely no need for it - too much garlic, and I wouldn't use it without the chimichurri since it didn't really flavor the meat. Would I make chimichurri again? Hell ya. It's awesome, goes with anything, and keeps so you can make a bit and freeze if you like. I found some information here on what you can do with some extra sauce: "Five Ways to Use Chimichurri Sauce". I'm sure there's a lot of info if you just do a quick web search. I am thinking of using the rest of this one as a pizza sauce with the leftover steak and maybe some parm or something.

So I highly recommend the sauce and the cut of meat, but skip the marinade - no need. And you can read the post with the recipe link from the beginning of this post, which pretty much says the same, and enthusiastically extols the virtues of the fab sauce that you'll be sorry you didn't make.

But please invest in some mints. Your friends and family will thank you.

Duff Disaster

I love Christmas, and I hate Christmas. I love Santa, the yearning to live in a fantasy Currier & Ives scene, imagining that I could have my house decorated by Martha Stewart, that I'd cook hundreds of wonderful things, but mostly that my kids would have the best Christmas ever. I love shopping and I hate shopping - there's a million things I want to get, and it's completely overwhelming, and sometimes despite planning, I leave a store because I panic. I love cooking and I hate cooking - I so want to do it and then I've bitten off more than I can chew (no pun intended) and I cry because for the 4th time, I've gone to the grocery store and come home with nothing I needed for that certain recipe. I love seeing people, and I hate it, I have to psych myself up to leave the house, because sometimes I just can't. And to boot, I have two girls with birthdays right up against it, so I can add on the need for two more best birthdays ever. The build up is huge - the planning and shopping, agonizing over whether things are good enough, freaking out over money spent, and then it's over. And I have convinced myself that I have been a failure. That it wasn't good enough. I didn't have a wonderful open house, with a beautifully decorated home, perfect tree, lovely foods and warm mulled cider to serve with tons of homemade goodies. No, I have a messy house, half-done tree, dogs that get completely wigged out by people and don't behave (so please don't be insulted when I don't invite you over), and still worried about how much everything cost and whether it was good enough. I probably would think it wasn't good enough, even if it were perfect. Then the birthdays: I get completely confused over what gifts I bought for Christmas vs birthday, and thought I knew where they all were but then can't find some, no wrapping paper, etc. But, one of the things I do (ironically for my own self-redemption and a further attempt at creating the best-ever day) for everyone's birthday is make whatever the birthday person wants for a meal, including for dessert/cake. This year, my New Year's (Jan 4th, close enough) baby, turning 14, responded to my request for what she wanted on her menu in typical teen fashion being purposely annoying, "some kind of pasta with cheese, and strawberry ice cream". That's it. What? No, for crying out loud. So I figured out the dinner part, and dessert I decided that I was going to get one of those cool Duff mixes I've seen at the store, the zebra striped one - she'll love it! Little did I know it would be horrifying...

You've probably seen Duff Goldman - makes funky cakes, bakery in Baltimore. He was the crazy cake guy on tv until Buddy Valastro, a.k.a. the Cake Boss, showed up. I am pretty sure his show isn't on anymore, but he's on a store shelf near you: Stop & Shop, Target, etc., with all kinds of products: cake mix, fondant, sprinkles. And he even sells pans and other accessories on his website, duff.com. So I decided on the zebra cake.

What you can't see from this picture, is that the front says "makes 1 (one) 9 inch cake", and then on the back of the box, the instructions say to prepare ONE cake pan. One. You are not going to yield a two-layer 9 inch cake, you are never going to make a cake that looks remotely like what's on the package, so I get 2 boxes. I also do not want to roll fondant - I wanted a bright green frosting and don't like to make frosting, so instead I got a Pillsbury frosting I've never seen before, from a line of "Funfetti" frostings

Looks cool, right? Bright green with blue, green, yellow, and black sprinkles. Love it.

On the directions, you need two mixing bowls - one for the chocolate cake mix, one for the white. Stands to reason. So I prepare my completely normal 9" round cake pans and get to work. Easy to mix, nothing special about that, and then this neat technique of creating co-centric circles of cake batter, alternating chocolate and white. You're supposed to use a toothpick or something to gently swirl the batter. That wasn't so simple since the white and chocolate cakes are different, but I can't be worried about that, so onward. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, make two! Cakes in oven, set the timer, and wait.

About halfway through the cooking time, I'm smelling some really aromatic cake. Normally, you're pretty close to done with baked items when you start getting a fairly strong, yummy smell coming from the kitchen. This is really way too early. I'm curious so I go take a peek. OH MY GOD! These cakes are bubbling and flowing over the pans like Mount Vesuvius, and cake batter is going all over the oven. What the !?!??! So I grab my biggest cookie sheet and put it on the rack below to catch anymore dripping, and praying that it stops soon, shut the oven door and wait.

The timer goes off for what should be the end, or close to the end of baking, but the cake's not done...it's still raw in the middle. Back in the oven for 5 more minutes. Check it - raw- back again. I continue this until we're bumping up on an hour baking cakes that should have been done in about 30 minutes. At one point I had to cover the cake with foil because it was browning a lot, too much on the edges, and that didn't help. It was finally done pretty much at the one hour mark, and I took it out, put it on a cooling rack. Then another dilemma - do I try to get it them out of the pans while they're a little warm, or wait until they're completely cool? Duff doesn't say and it's about 9pm. I'll wait! Again.

Morning comes and the cakes do not magically release from the pans. Oh I see... the cake that flowed over the sides is locking the cake into the pan. No prob, I'll cut it away. Still not out... alright-y then. The edges appear to be released from the sides, but just in case, I'll run a knife around. Still not coming out. Well, my next theory is that the kitchen gets really cold, and maybe overnight the grease used to coat the pans has gotten cold also and is just acting like glue, so I warm the bottoms very slightly and... they're out! And guess what?! In the middle of each cake where, incidentally, you pour the cake mixes on top of each other repeatedly, it's completely undercooked! Like, don't eat it undercooked. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Why?! These cakes, the baked parts, are also sooo soft that they are falling apart completely in my hands.

This is already looking untenable, but in order to frost, I need to refrigerate or even freeze them. I decided to go the freezer route (quicker), and cross my fingers.

When the cakes come out of the freezer, they are not different! They're just turning into crumbs while I look at them. So what do I do now? I could crumble them and make the world's ugliest cake balls by combining the cake with the green frosting. No! Ick! I will make a valiant effort at frosting them. It was just awful. It couldn't be done. As you pulled the frosting around the side, it would just grab the cake and continue to decimate it. I got angry. Really angry at this cake. When no one was looking, I used my beautiful, large icing spatula, to...well, hack it up. I was so mad at the cake, and at my incompetence at cake decorating. I never like to throw food out but this piece had to go, and not just because of my taking out my rage on it. Even without that, there was nothing to this layer, it was actually embarrassing to look at. So I try cake number two -

it looks not quite as bad, but I cry over not having this cute cake for Lily that I wanted to make her. I feel so bad - I can't give her this cake! It's so awful! And Bruce would not let me throw the second one out! I ran to the grocery store and got a back-up pretty cake from the bakery.

So what went wrong? Here's my theory:
The chocolate part of the cake was like a normal chocolate cake, BUT the white part was like a chiffon. Problem - two different densities and two just plain old different cakes. You start off with the chocolate batter, and alternate with the white. You are constantly putting one on top of the other, and letting in spread out in circles. The problem is that when chiffon cakes cook, they get really fluffy. They rise more than a traditional cake batter. And here you have the two mixed, hence blowing up and over the sides of the pan. A 9" springform pan would have stopped the overflow, but not sure if it would help with the rawness. I think you'd still have some undercooked cake there because there were two different kinds of cake batter: thick and not so thick. Parchment in the bottom of any cake pan can help with release, and would have here for sure.

Upside:
I learned how to do the zebra cake, so I never have to buy this Duff mix again. Incidentally, it's very easy to find instruction on making a zebra cake by just a simple web search. Here's a pretty cool cake tutorial. The cakes were, however, very delicious, and the inside was totally zebra-y. It just looked like it was attacked by wolverines. [Side note: I've seen people have pretty good luck with the tie-dye, so maybe that will work for you if you wanted to try a Duff mix.]

When it was time to light the birthday candles, I asked Lily to choose which cake to put the candles in: Ugly Duff or Pretty Store. She picked the Ugly Duff. When she had a piece, we laughed about how dreadful it looked, and she said she could "taste the love". And we laughed again. And everyone ate both cakes. I guess although Duff was a disaster, the dinner itself wasn't ruined, Lily was happy, and that finally made me happy.

The end.

P.S. Two days later I discovered the frosting lid containing the sprinkles I completely forgot to put on the cake. Brilliant.

Coffee-Meringue Acorns, 2013 Christmas (win!) cookie

So after the Christmas wreck that was the Jam Diamonds, completely disheartened, tired, running out of time, I still decided I'd make that last cookie: Coffee-Meringue Acorns. They have everything that would make them awesome:

a) I could make them tiny
b) Coffee flavor - who doesn't like that in New England?
c) plus Chocolate
d) plus pistachios and/or pecans
e) meringues are pretty easy
f) they're Martha's recipe!

Note: If you are allergic to eggs... just wait for another post, because meringues are definitely not for you.

If you haven't ever had a meringue, you should. They are lovely - crispy on the outside, light and soft on the inside. Or let them cook longer and have them crispy all the way through, and when you bite them they just melt. (I think that's the way to go, personally, although not traditional.) If you've never made them, and presuming you like to bake otherwise why would you be here, you should. They really are easy - egg whites and sugar is all it is. You whip to the desired consistency, and voila - meringue. Someday, I will introduce you to the Pavlova or the meringue-topped pie, or maybe some meringue-based icings, but today - the meringue cookie.

What special things you need to make these - a whisk, as a mixer attachment, or attached to a really strong arm, parchment paper, and time.

This recipe makes a lot. Really a lot. Three egg whites and you've got 100 meringues. I don't need 100, so how am I going to divide this? I decide to base my recipe on 1 egg white, and reduce the rest of the ingredients by 2/3rds, and I'll have around 30 or so little bitty bites. I have a large stand mixer, so I crossed my fingers that it would be able to whip up just 1 egg white. Why wouldn't it, you ask? Because the bowl is slightly conical, and the whisk is almost heart-shaped, ending with one loop on the bottom, which is essentially all that will make contact with the bottom of the bowl and the tiny bit of (room temperature - it's important!) white in there, but the worst that can happen? I start over with 2 whites and have twice as much as I was hoping for. I can live with that.

So I read the ingredients and..."1 1/2 teaspoons Trablit coffee extract (available at culinarydistrict.com) or 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract". Great - some fancy extract I'd have to order? So what do I do... I remember seeing coffee extract at the store - yay!- because I'm sure the alternative would be ridiculously priced, and not in my kitchen within the day. In fact... hold on.... it's 3oz for about $14 (I just looked it up). It's about the same as the McCormick actually, however, I don't need to go to Los Angeles to get the McCormick. I think I know which I should get. And yes, I realize that you are saying "but this says you can also use vanilla extract". Yeah but that's not the point considering what drew me to the recipe was the title promising "Coffee-meringue". By the way, I should say that one of the beautiful things about meringues - flavor them however you want. This says coffee or vanilla, but you could use peppermint, spearmint, coconut, lemon, maple.. anything. And if you're feeling fun, some food coloring is great too. I wouldn't use food coloring with this since using the coffee extract turns the meringue a very light tan color, all on its own. Vanilla extract will also take away from the stark whiteness, but if you like, you can buy clear vanilla extract to keep the very white color (and not just for egg whites - can use it for cake batters, icings, etc.; Wilton sells it and you can get it at Michaels).

Now here's a little something about me that you may or may not know - if there is a way to screw up a recipe - I will find it and do it. I consider this to be a service to all potential recipe users, because then when I totally f*** something up (yes, I get that angry that the f-bombs may fly if small children are not around), I can tell you what went wrong and how I fixed it, or alternatively, didn't. I made it through labs in college that way: students there until 2am to get an experiment right? Suckers! I just did it, and when it was wrong, I wrote a report about what went wrong and why. My professors loved it and so did I because I was tired and was not going to stay at that hideous place for a single nanosecond more than was necessary. And now, I employ that same logical thinking and troubleshooting to my cooking, to help you all. You're welcome!

If you haven't guessed, that was a segue to the part where I never noticed it said I was going to cook everything in a double boiler before whipping. What a friggin' pain. It also does not make me happy to add an extra pan to the equation. I map out my pan and utensil use carefully so that I only use the very least number of items possible... but....brainstorm! The eggs whites are already in my stand mixer bowl, it's stainless steel... voila: saucepan with water simmering, mixer bowl is now the top of the double-boiler. AND I will stir while simmering with the mixer's whisk, for no extra utensil. Genius! Not totally screwed up, but close call.

Once your whites are all whipped and fluffy and shiny and pretty, it's pastry bag time. Again, I did all the cake decorating class crap and I have gel dyes, a thousand different tips, couplings, plastic pastry bags, know how to make a pastry bag out of parchment, but you know what I'm using? A ziploc bag. I do not want to get out a single extra item (remember it's Christmas Eve and I've been making cookies for 2 days). Put the stuff in a ziploc bag and cut about 1/2" off a bottom corner of the bag. Ta-da! Pastry bag! The tip Martha was calling for is just a smooth round tip, so the bag will do. And it does - popping out little meringues just like in the picture, like little "kiss" shapes. Into the oven and now... we wait.

And wait.

And wait. Meringues take time. Crisp meringues sit in the oven at a low temp, for quite a while. It's just how it is. And Martha says this should take about an hour, to crisp on the outside and pulls off the parchment easily. Only she lied. My meringues stayed in the oven for a little over 2 hours before being able to lift off the parchment and have the nice crisp on the outside. My cookie sheets are insulated so things don't crisp on the bottom how I would like (I will never buy another one of those sheets and I have 3...ugh). I would even like them to be kind of dry and crisp all the way through, but that can take a very very very long time. Typically, they are a little moist on the inside.

They cool really quickly and the next part is beyond easy - melt some chocolate, chop some nuts (and toast them if you like), and dip away. I used pecans and did toast them, which takes all of 10 minutes. I put my dipped meringues on some waxed paper to set, and prayed desperately that I had the willpower not to eat them all before they even made it to the storage container.

About storing - Martha says that "Meringues can be made 5 days ahead and stored in a cool, dry place at room temperature." I baked these on Christmas Eve, dipped them Christmas morning, put them in an airtight container for travel, and they were fine Christmas afternoon. After that, they were, to borrow a chemistry term (because I can't help that) rather hygroscopic; they pick up moisture from the air and get sticky and start imploding a bit. It doesn't matter really - the flavor is so nice... very subtle coffee with the chocolate and nuts - very yum.

There's tons of meringue recipes and really, try one. If it seems intimidating to try whipping egg white and getting that right, it's not! Just try it. Don't have some kind of way to decoratively extrude on a cookie sheet - so what, use a spoon. You can make them big, they'll just need to cook longer. As I mentioned at the beginning, someday we'll discuss a Pavlova which is a giant, divine meringue pillow. And EASY!

So I can add Martha's picture of these little delights, because mine really looked very much like this. I fully recommend trying it.



Coming soon - what happens when professional chefs go commercial.

Cream-cheese Jam Ice Diamonds... 2013 Christmas cookie (fiasco) #1

Let me start by saying that for as long as I can remember, I have unabashedly worshiped Martha. Yes, Martha Stewart, the Queen of All Things. I have subscribed to her magazine, watched her show, purchased her products, absorbed Martha in every way. I want to be Martha. There, I've said it, and I don't care who knows it!!

The most glorious magazines every year are the Thanksgiving and Christmas issues. There are also separate cookie issues (sometimes), and those are keepers. As always, this year, they did not disappoint, and given the chance to do some Christmas desserts, naturally this is where I went.

I wanted to make some tiny little cookies - just little bites, so people can belly up to the bar and try a bunch of different things without feeling like you're about to explode. I was already getting a platter of 3 dozen cookies from one of the local moms who has a home business making adorable cookies and cakes, so there were about 5 different selections of cookies and truffles there. I decided to add on 3 more - my go-to every year chocolate espresso snow caps [OH! I just had this idea about a different post with favorite recipes, so I'll tell you all about these later!], then these Cream-Cheese Jam Ice Diamonds,and then another meringue cookie that I'll do a separate post about. I chose the jam diamonds because I could make them small, and I've made Linzer cookies before, which I love, so I figured this should be pretty easy.

The original recipe yields 80 cookies. Yeah, I'm not making 80 cookies; I'll halve the recipe. And in the interest of time, I make the dough, and put it in the fridge to make the cookies the next day (Christmas Eve). Yay for me! Time management that I normally never use when preparing for any holiday or other event, and I'm doing it!

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, and I'm looking at this and thinking "sandwich cookie - make cookies, sandwich jam in-between". But no - this is Martha. Martha does nothing easily; it's part of the fun of doing Martha-things - a challenge! So I realize that this recipe goes through a series of dough rolling and chilling and freezing and filling and cutting and ... you get the idea. Ugh. Ok, whatever, I can do it.

First, make dough,divide in half, wrap and chill up to two days. Check. Second, roll out each half into rectangles and freeze 30 min. Check. Third, preheat oven, and take out your frozen rectangles, slather your jam on one, slap the other on top. Ok. Let it warm up enough to be firm, but able to cut. Yeah, here's where we have a problem. Now when I go to cut it, the dough slabs are sliding all over the place thanks to the jam slick between the two pieces, but I persist and come out with about 10 perfect diamonds, 20 vaguely symmetrical shapes, and some weird stuff that I like to call the "cook's pieces" because I do not want anyone respectable to see these, but I'm also not going to waste any food so I'll cook them. Oh but wait! I have to freeze them again until firm for 10 minutes. Check. Transfer them to a parchment-lined baking sheet and space 1" apart. Check. Freeze until firm 10 more minutes - wait, what? Seriously? Screw it - if they've gone from firm to not firm by simply removing them from the freezer and putting them on a baking sheet, then screw it. I'm putting them in the damn oven which has been on and ready to cook these stupid cookies for like half an hour now.

Baking goes fine, cookies are done and yummy, they just look horrifying, but nothing that displaying them in a pile, putting the prettiest ones on top, and sprinkling generously (read: coating until unrecognizable) with confectioner's sugar can't help.

Here's what they're supposed to look like:

Yeah, but they didn't. Oh well. Next time I would just use a Linzer cookie recipe. I have one from Rosie's Bakery, but here's one from Ina Garten who happens to be an FoM (long-time Friend of Martha). For the kind of cookie they are they are just way too time-consuming for me.

Next up: 2013 Christmas cookie (winner!) #2

Italian Lemon Cream Cheese Cake (a.k.a. Olive Garden copy-cat)

Italian Lemon Cream Cheese Cake recipe


I have been to Olive Garden approximately... once. I did not have dessert, so that was not my motive in making this cake. My actual motive(s):


1. I originally saw a recipe for an Italian Lemon Cream Cheese Cake and I thought it was pretty.
2. I love Lemon desserts
3. I love cheesecake
4. I was providing a dessert for Christmas dinner at my sister's house (the hostess with the most-est)

I quickly came to find that this was indeed NOT a creamy cheesecake, but a cream-cheese[space bar] cake. Eh, who cares? It's a lemon dessert so that's good enough for me. I started searching for similar recipes to see how this compared to different ones, and I found the Olive Garden version, and I just chose it because it seemed simpler and I needed to be efficient with my cooking time.

This was easy enough - starting with a box mix. I don't mind making my own cake, but this wasn't the only thing I was making, and I always underestimate how long things are going to take, so I decided this was the way to go.

Then I made the lemon cream cheese filling - easy beans. Put it in the fridge to save for later.

The recipe also calls for a crumb topping. Okay. But wait... it's made with flour and butter and...raw? I thought about it for a while, and all I could imagine in my mind was the taste of raw flour. I decide to nix that. It looks tasty, but I read a bunch of reviews, and no one seemed to think that was very good, so I'm going to trust my instincts and skip it.

I put the cake in the fridge after cooling, and decided I'd take care of this all the next day (Christmas Eve), since this was two days before I needed it.

Now let me say that even though I've done the multiple "levels" of the Wilton cake decorating course, and have done all kinds of piping and flower making, BUT I am the WORST at simply frosting a cake. I mean truly horrible, like a 3 year old iced the cake. But this one came out awesome! It was the best I ever did. Now, that's not to say it was beautiful, but compared to my standard product? I actually heard a choir of angels, I swear. And it looked like the picture - whooo! Finished and back in fridge, done!

The moment of truth - taste time! Everyone thought the cake itself was wonderful (yeah, thanks it was from a box). The rest of it was good, but definitely not lemony enough. Just really creamy with the faintest hint of lemon. If I were to make it again, I would add some lemon zest, or more lemon flavor into the cake itself as well - maybe some juice or just a little extract. If I'm going to have a dessert that's billed as lemon, I want lemon dammit! This just wasn't enough for me.

Was it good? Yes - creamy, not heavy, and Betty Crocker makes a fine white cake. Will I make this again? Nah. It's just not a recipe worthy of saving; I'm sure there's better out there. For all the work, it's just average. If this is what the cake at Olive Garden tastes like, don't waste your cash.

Onto the next!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Disclaimer - I have no clue what this is going to look like. I haven't been here in quite a while, and Blogger has changed so this could really be weird display-wise. Advance apologies. So, I thought I'd come back to my 5 followers, and start some posting again. Mostly because I have this constant running script in my head and talk to myself and figured "what a waste! All my fantastic ramblings are not going on paper!" Yes, I am a prolific and wealthy author in my own mind. Anyway, I like to cook, and bake, and spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and lately on Facebook there are a lot of recipes that are getting posted from all over the place. I've been trying them and commenting, and I feel it is my duty to let people know if it was any good or not. I did start this blog with some posts about cooking and such, so it's kind of going back to my original idea. Maybe I'll come up with a rating system, and I promise that I'll post a link of the recipe itself. And I'll do each as a separate post. So let's go back to where I left off....