Loaf of white bread, or Oh Dear, This Can't Be Good

I've done it, just as promised (for those of you who remember, or frankly even care) - I started with my first recipe today from Julia's Baking Book. The first being a very basic loaf of white bread. Easy peasy, right? I've made it before in fact, and it worked out swimmingly. Nothing like a nice fresh loaf of bread. And off we go!



I had almost all the ingredients but for yeast. Used to have a jar of it in the fridge but threw it out a while ago - you can't keep it forever. No problem - went to the grocery and...hey! What the...? My Fleischman's yeast is gone - no jar (which I wanted), no packets or cakes...only this "New Product!" Red Star in packets, with a lady's face promising you that you will be most happy with this product or she'll take full responsibility. Her name is Carol Stevens and she guarantees your satisfaction. Yay! Whatever, I'll take it.



Sunday, got started a bit late. It'll be ok. Recipe makes 2 loaves but where fresh bread doesn't have such a great shelf life, I'm going to make one. Quantities are pretty straightforward so I should have no issue halving. Here we go - need 1/2T yeast. Ok 1/2 T is 2t, great, same for sugar and salt. Mixing, mixing, adding flour. Time for 1st rise. Julia says turn out on lightly floured surface and form into a ball to put into your lightly oiled bowl. Yeah...only this thing is a glutenous mess. What is going on? I try kneading, maybe it just wasn't kneaded enough. Only this is getting worse. It's sticking to everything and consuming my hand. It's like the Blob. My Doodleybug is standing there at the ready with hair tied back and clean hands asking "can I touch it?". My answer is a terrified "No! Stand back! " and yelling into the living room, " Hooneeeeeyyyyy! I need flour now!" Football game in full swing = uninterested, "yeah, ok". NO! I am standing here with a yeast blob that will shortly take my arm! Alright, alright.... phew! More flour seemed to help. Dough ball in bowl, let the first rise begin!



45 minutes later...

Julia said the dough will double in bulk. So exciting! I look in the bowl and that ball is still sitting there. Doesn't look any bigger to me. I check my recipe. And then I think...I convinced myself that 1/2T = 2t, mostly because I think I'm that good of a baker, and also beause I was too lazy to look it up. So I look it up now: ummm yeah, 1/2T = 3t. I am missing 1/3 of 3 ingredients. I look at my Honey and say "this can't be good". He thinks I'm talking about the dog barking. Huh? But wait! Julia does say that rising could take 45 min to ONE HOUR. There ya go! Adding 15 min.



15 min. later...

Nuttin'. Maybe a skosh bigger. Maybe it wasn't warm enough. There's a humidifier running in the kitchen so I decide to perch my bowl precariously on top and wait another 15min. In the meantime I need to get my pork roast going. Geesh this isn't going as well as I thought.

ANOTHER 15 min. later...
Ohhhhh poofier...directions say that if I touch the top, and it is fully risen, the impression of my finger will stay. So I gingerly touch it. Hmmm... I guess my finger impression stays...it kinda sinks a little bit but maybe that's right. Doodle comes over and puts her finger in it. Pffffttttt... like a balloon that's just popped. Maybe I should call Carol Stevens and complain about the yeast she so promised would leaven my baked goods beyond my wildest dreams. No matter, I can't wait any longer to put it in the oven!

Into the oven it goes! Just in time to miss dinner! Eh. So the bread bakes for its allotted time...smells fabulous...and....not done. So another 10 min, and another and another and another..FINALLY...Bing! It's done! And not pretty. This can't be good. It's flat on top, not really golden. And I have to wait until it's cooled COMPLETELY (Julia stresses this! Dammit!) before slicing. We waited with bated breath until Monday to slice. I was disappointed: it was dense, not like say, a potato bread, which is dense but still kind of malleable. Nah, this was just like a loaf of lead. But God Bless my kids, who begged for slices, toasted and buttered and declared it good. Redemption.

I still have a half of lead loaf on the counter, and only one person has asked for a second slice, so I'd still say that it was not a raving success. So, I will not move on to the next recipe (which I won't anyway for reasons I will save for later), but redo this one. And use the appropriate measurements. And cross my fingers that it will rise and bake in a timely manner, I'd like to have fresh bread the same day it's made, ergo "fresh", even if it is a subjective term . Wish me luck. It's gotta be good the second time around. Right?