Don't judge me!

Yeah yeah yeah...so I don't put in entries like a faithful blogger should. And you know what? It really doesn't matter - you're not reading my blog anyway. That's right, I'm talking to you, whoever you are, not reading my blog. So I must blog for myself just because I feel like it; it's just for me because I like to write and if I talked incessantly about myself (which is my allowed indulgence here), people would hate me. Oh wait, I do that anyway. Well you can just talk to the hand then, haters! Do people still say that?

So let's get down to business. I promised that I would begin working my way through Julia Child's baking book. I was going to start at the beginning and go through to the end. Aaaaannnnnddd...I haven't started. You know, I'm just not feeling bread and brioche and puff pastry when we can't even figure out from one day to the next whether it's going to be 80 degrees and 100% humidity, or 40 degrees and so dry there's static in the air. It makes me unsettled and makes me not want to bake, especially things that are a labor of love, like puff pastry, and hours of adding butter and folding and turning and rolling and chilling... You have to sort of psych yourself up and then go for it. And I wasn't in the mood.

What I did to was take a look into the cookbook that I have been pretty fearful of: Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Remember I said I was going to do the "Julie-Julia" thing but I was basically too overwhelmed and quite the coward and decided it was too much for me. And then soemthing happened. Over the summer I had a farm share. "What's that?" you ask...it's a local farm that offers shares of it's harvest over the season. So for the summer, once weekly, we'd head over to the farm and pick up our box full of fresh veggies for the week. And every week it was different, both in variety and volume. Some weeks it was tons of Swiss Chard, other weeks it was all herbs, and other times a mixture. My freezer is now full of oregano, mint, blanches chard, blanched green beans, etc. But one week in particular I found myself looking at tomatoes, zucchini, eggplant, peppers, onions, among other things. So what do I do with this...and I thought ratatouille. And no I didn't thinkof it because I'm brilliant and knew all the ingredients off the top off my head. Actually I literally thought of the scene in the movie Ratatouille where the little rodent actually makes the dish and serves it a man who practically cries because it reminds him of his mother and home. So that inspired me - I mean why not? I have the ingredients, so what the heck. Go for it.

I actually didn't turn to Julia first. I went to one of my favorite sources. I have a few: Joy of Cooking (the cooking Bible, according to me), Martha Stewart (I have a couple of cookbooks of hers), and epicurous.com. So I checked epicurious first and yep, I appear to have the right ingredients. Then I did a general web search to see if I could find another recipe to compare to, and a link for Julia's recipe comes up, which actually had a pdf version of a copy directly from the book. Excellent! I have that book! I don't need no stinkin' pdf! So I'm off and running!

So page 503 - Ratatouille. Julia says that it smells like the "essence of Provence". Excellent! Because this is probably as close to smelling Provence as I'm ever going to get. And it goes well beef, which is great because we're grilling steak (and by "we" I mean "the man, not me"). It also says a really great one is "one of the quicker dishes to make". I am confused by this because I don't know what it means. Is it quicker than a bad Ratatouille? Or is it quicker than say, beef bourguignon, which takes something like...oh I don't know, a week and a half to make. Doesn't matter, I am forging ahead, dammit. I will say that MAFC is very thoughtfully laid out, but if you are seriously going to make something from it, READ THE RECIPE all the way through first. And maybe more than once. So this quick and easy recipe, which by the way can also be served cold, only has 6 steps, and 10 ingredients, starts with using an enameled skillet. Who the heck has an enameled skillet?! I have enameled stock pots, bakeware, a beautful Chantal enameled roasting pan that is too nice to actually cook in, but a skillet? No. And why? Well, too late now, we're using my normal heavy stainless skillet and that's that. So you go through this very long process of slicing your vegetables a certain way, peeling and seeding tomatoes, layering things in a certain order while they simmer away in the [wrong] pan. Somewhere along the line you are suddenly putting things into a casserole...well never mind that either, I missed that.

The end result was a wonderful mixture of these vegetables from a local farm, all mixed together, even melted together, it seemed. B loved it but I can't go by his reaction, he eats everything that's not moving and some things that are. Kids were meh about it - they eat all these things but were suspicious of them all in one mixture together. And then a miracle - a friend of my Puddin's who stayed for dinner. She ate it. All of what was on her plate. And did not say she didn't like it, it looked wierd, I don't like it (without actually tasting). Ate it and said thank you and had more. And her father is a chef who does cooking competitions in Europe. So my ratatouile was validated, at least to me. It was edible and worthy of a second portion.

But here's the real kicker: this child have the most wonderful table manners I have ever seen in a person under the age of 16. She sat down to dinner, put her napkin on her lap, made polite conversation, cut her own met, and at the end of the dinner, she thanked me. AND when I was putting dishes in the dishwasher, all of a sudden she was standing behind me, had already scraped her leftovers into the trash, and asked to put her dish in the dishwasher. I actually had a tear in my eye. I thought to myself "how can I keep you"? THAT was just mind-blowing. I'm lucky when my kids realize thatI'm there, never mind clean up after themselves. I was flabberghasted.

What wil I make next? I was thnking about reading Julia's section on eggs and omelets. Maybe some bread? We'll see... Hoping I'm motivated, otherwise this could take an awfil long time to make any headway. We'll see... I do like eggs...

Aha! I've got it!

I am sitting here today with a ridiculous migraine and watching Julie and Julia through my brilliant wifi Netflix connection through the Wii. Meryl Streep is pure genius, as always! Anyway, I read the book first, and it was wonderful. Then I looked up Julie Powell's blog, which is still out there by the way. After I was done reading I procured my very own copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking Volume I. I had (and still have) every intention of working my way through it just like Julie. I was very inspired, I love cooking and thought the challenge would be...for lack of a better word, fun. Now it is months later. I haven't touched it. It still sits on my kitchen table, and I think it sometimes looks at me disdainfully and whispers "chicken". But I'm not really. My culinary bible has always been The Joy of Cooking. I had an edition from 1960-something, which included lovely sketches of certian kinds of game and how to prep and cook, such as squirell and possum. Or opossum. Whatever, anyway I also have the 2000 edition and I use it all the time. You'd think I knew how to roast a chicken, but every single time I do, I faithfully open to page 379, the poultry section, actually the book just falls open there now, and pull the red ribbon book mark over to the stained and wrinkled page, and reference how much time per pound and what temperature the meat should reach when I insert the instant thermometer into the thigh without touching the bone, and look for clear juices. I'd be lost without it.

Anyway, so I thought, I don't just want to copy Julie, I want to do my own thing. I thought about working my way through one of my trusty Martha Stewart cookbooks. Yes, I unabashedly love Martha, and for about 10 years waited with bated breath for and reveled in each new issue of her Living magazine. I find her cooking to be a very American style and here's the problem - but for desserts, (oh I'm so sorry to say this Martha, mea maxima culpa) I really find the end results of most entrees kind of...meh...completely lackluster. Her techniques are precise, and really take a lot of fear out of cooking, but the end results are just sort of bland. I thought of trying something from each section of JoC...nah....and then...a revelation!

I love baking. Anyone who knows me knows that even on a 90-degree day in July, my oven will be on, and my kids will be asking me to put on the light so they can see what's inside. Now on my cookbook dedicated shelf, I have a copy of Julia Child's Baking Book. She presented this on TV as well, as a completely separate show from the French Chef, and every recipe was demonstrated by it's originator. The recipes are from the baking experts for each area: bread, puff pastry, cakes, etc. Julia wasn't exactly a spring chicken at that point so every episode had the recipe originator demonstrating and Julia attempting to try her own hand, but then mostly just eating along the way, as well as digging into the end result. When I originally got the book, my plan indeed was to work my way through it. And I started, but alas, I had no audience. Case in point: had some dinner guests who, when I announced desert (ok it wasn't an announcement so much as me yelling "who wants cake?!") looked at me like I was crazy and said "We don't eat sweets". Not even no thank you. Just waving away my white chocolate cake with raspberry sauce. So, not only did I never cook for the people again, I pretty much never baked from that book again. Or much at all.

Now circumstances are different and I do bake. In fact I havea great boyfriend (aka the "pseudo-husband") who, along with my children, will pretty much eat anything resembling food, even when dangerously past the printed "best by" date on the label. So I've decided to revisit my old plan. I am going to work my way through the book again. Maybe not in order, or maybe I don't know yet. But I'm going to do it. And then I'll write about it. Whether you want to read it or not.

I'll let you all know when you can come over to be fed. But do NOT refuse my white chocolate cake with raspberry sauce.

Boy I'm crappy at this...

Really, I am. I'm a terrible blogger. I think of all kinds of witty things to say all day long. I think of stories to write - dramatic, heart-wrenching, funny, ironic - all true too - and I get here and pffft. Sometimes I think I should write my life's story, but eh... all these people are alive and might not find the tales as humorous or interesting as I do. Sometimes I think I should write about my kids, but ditto - not everyone will be amused by my anecdotes about my children. Sometimes I think I'll write about my cooking, my crocheting, books I'm reading, one of the thousand things I'm doing or ideas I'm having, or just even about feelings. This could be my therapy, maybe I'll have some kind of catharsis and voila, I'm normal. mmm....no... I don't think so. So what then? Randomess I guess.

I'm home sick today - got up with a sore throat like my vocal cords had been scraped with steel wool, ear pain, tired, cold...blech... So working from home which of course, does not include resting in any way. Along with following all the latest crises and questions at work, I've done 3 loads of laundry, will still cook dinner later, watched an episode of Housewives of New Jersey. I'd like to rest, there's just two things standing in my way: Harry and Bella, the hounds from hell. I wonder what they do when we're not home. When we are home, they are on constant patrol and bark explosively at every noise they hear. A leaf rustling must surely be an intruder, jogger passing quietly in front of the house - serial killer for sure, oh hey Bruce coming to the back door, yes bark at him too. So napping may not be happening.

This makes me think - I really think God does not want me to exercise. I swear it. This week for example - not only do I have nightly/daily activities, BUT my sneakers literally split in half last night, today I am sick, maybe tomorrow I'll have a fighting chance but I think it will be raining which means indoor working out. This does not occur at the gym. No. Here's some irony for you. I can't afford a membership at the Y for myself. I shell out for the kids, and they use it, but it's too much for me, seriously. However, if I had less money, I would potentially have a free or close to free pass for being "needy". This is not to knock those who take advantage of this or any such programs; they're there, take them while you can, I don't blame you. It's just ironic, and further proof that God clearly does not want me to exercise. In the meantime, the thyroid does what it will, and the rest of me reacts as though stalk of celery = hot fudge sundae. It's really depressing.

On an up note: my Puddin' had a wonderful play in school yesterday and a great chorus concert last night. The kids just love what they do and really get into it. Their faces and body language are so fun to watch -some of them are jammin' like it's their own little solo show, some are singing to each other, some look so serious like a vein's going to pop out on their foreheads from the concentration, others look so frightened like they just might not have clean underwear later. But it was a great night for them. Tonight she's got a band concert and hopefully I'll feel a bit better during it.

That's all today. I guess. Unless I have more random thoughts. Ok just one - I really think my impact on the web would be much more fun (read: annoying) if I had an iTouch to constantly communicate my randomness. Just saying.

So here we go again...maybe

So I thought I would resurrect my blog. I don't know why, I don't know if anyone reads it and not sure if I care. I just have a lot of random thoughts (ergo the title) and like to vent them from time to time. Funny, sad, dramatic, goofy, whatever. So I guess let's catch up. Ummm let's see - girls had successful dance season and a lovely recital. Waiting to find out if/when (more likely when) Connor's ginormous tonsils will come out. Hmmm..what else? I finally got a diagnosis of secondary hypothyroidism! Boo and yay! What does this mean? It means that my pituitary gland is probably telling my thyroid all the right stuff, but thyroid just says "talk to the hand" and does whatever it wants. Hopefully knowing this and treating all the weird stuff that goes with it will help me get back on track with fatigue and weight and all.

So my thought of the day is this:
Why are we so crippled by the idea of having our children not win? Sometimes you are not the best. Sometimes you are even the worst. Sometimes you are the best. Why can we not teach them to win and lose graciously. Why do children play a whole afternoon of soccer and never score a point? Everyone's a winner! If my child is not great at something, please tell me before people snicker at them, or they can't get proper instruction, maybe they hate what they're doing, there's so many reasons to tell the truth and sometimes the truth is great. Sometimes it's not. Maybe the greater lesson in life is to learn to take criticism, learn to talk about it, do something about it or not, accept it or not, but develop a skin and a coping mechanism. Someday someone important will give you criticism, constructive or not, someday you will win, someday you will lose, someday you will just go home. Learn to deal with it all. Where did all this coddling start? And at what point does it stop?

AI Top 1-3....

OK so did everyone hear about the phone# issue? That when you dialedthe extra contestant's number (idol1-3) you actually got a phone $ex line? Yeah. Pays to check on this stuff first. On to the show!

Lil - the way you make me feel
Too slow in tempo – huge butt awful pants! – wonder if she can do a song without belting. Actually – I don’t like it. I’m bored.

Scott - keep the faith

I thought this was good. Cheesy but good. I figure MJ must have given rights to his catalog since he just announced a new “farewell” tour and wants people to remember he used to be pretty good.

Danny - PYT
Kinda awkward beginning but then warmed up, liked the grittiness but was on the verge of shouting at times, liked it - good start to the show.ohhh…I’m scared…love his voice but not sure about this…hey! I think he’s pulling it off! Yay! OMG he’s got the Taylor Hicks sweaty sportcoat! ICK!

Michael - You are not alone-

So very happy..wow – I’m surprised actually…a little rought spot in the middle and his enunciation is kind of flat but overall not bad…why did his family all dress like Jackson Pollack interpretations of bumblebees?

Jasmine - I’ll be there
Love her dress…don’t spit into the mic…she does NOT look 17. I think she needs coaching – she’s a little uneven but could be an improver week to week. I’m not crazy about it. Oh look! Her Moms got a new weave! Pat your weave, girl, pat your weave…

Kris - Do You Remember

Why is Paula dancing? The guitar is completely pointless. OK, boring. It amazes me that MJ did all these sort of normal hetero songs. Hey Dave – why does his guitar look really long? “Adorable $sexy”?!...hey, random gay dude in audience agrees!

Allison - Give it to me
I love it! She’s gotta not say “Ho kay” but I love her low husky range. Very Joan Jett/Patti Smith/Pink. I love her!

Anoop - Beat It

This could be a bad choice…2nd half got a little better….not great. He looks like the dude from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Wow – Paula being original and truthful…Anoop-dawg- you in trouble

Jorge - Never can say goodbye

he surprises me every time he sings – even though he looks like the Joker sometimes – really good though. Geesh his family’s really white?????

Megan - Rockin’ Robin
Stupid song! She could get by on cute..oh man she might be going home…isn’t it “go Rockin’ Robin”? she’s CAWING?!?!?! Oh good bye
p.s. checked Jackson 5 lyrics for the song and she sang the wrong words…repeatedly
Gordon Ramsey!? I love you!!!!

Adam - Black or White

Look at him…walking down the street, being interviewed, in the recording studio, and he only owns one plaid shirt…I hope he wins so he can expand his selection of tops…it’s so sad… He kinda reminds me of the now deceased lead singer of INXS and now deceased Jim Morrison, they all had that snaky, slinky movement…I hope he keeps his tongue in his mouth… OMG!!!!!!! BEST OF THE NIGHT!! But I’m not sure if he’s the Idol, or if he should be in a production of Rent or Jesus Christ Superstar… I’m not sure where he fits. He’s kinda Eddie Izzard in drag… What is with the extreme close-up of his face?! Stop it! What? He loves Michael Jackson? Oh Stop…that’s shocking….He’s also huge next to Ryan

Matt - Human Nature
Dang how do you follow Adam? And why are his parents talking like he’s dead? His instrumental sounds like if Toto did an arrangement of it in the early 80’s. But I kinda like him. Little flat on the highs and the ending is lame …not the absolute best but totally agree with Randy – I see Justin Timberlake every time I look at him.




huh? My dvr cut this off????!!!

I think the huge winner is Adam. I think Megan is a goner.

AI Wildcard ...

I love hindsight, don’t you?

’tell me something good”
I thought it was a very weird song choice. And all I could think of was the episode of That 70’s Show where Eric is traumatized after he walks in on his parents one morning and see things no child should ever see, and that song was playing on the radio, and he would have horrible flashbacks everytime he heard it. That’s seriously all I could think about. But I really think this girls’ style is too much for Idol and also more than the American public wants to hear weekly.

Matt G sang some Stevie Wonder, right? I don’t remember the song but I remember being much happier about it and thinking he’s very “now” looking. A little Justin Timberlake-ish.

Megan J - I really don’t think this chick’s gonna last. She’s got a style and I HATE her dance moves, but I was very surprised at the end that she made it through.


And I still think Von looks like a Squirrel. I did think this was very weak. Not good.

Jasmine - Man I do not remember these songs… I will take notes next time….again, I was surprised that she made it through. I’m not sure she’ll last because I think she needs more training.

dude who's name I cannot even remember just sang something....Pass…not memorable

Tatiana – do NOT sing the same song 3x in a row. Only one girl has ever gotten away with it, and she stopped after the judges told her to knock it off. (remember...season 2, maybe...Yes! Kimberly Locke...kept singing Over The Rainbow...yeah don't do that). And THAT was THE most dramatic exit I have ever seen. She shouldn't be that sad - she's got Paula's costume jewelry!

ANOOP doop a doop…I love Anoop but I am not feeling comfortable with a top…1 3 see I don’t even want to put the numbers next to each other…

Who will LEAVE the first show? If we’re only doing one at a time my money’s on Matt….but we will wait til the fat lady sings…or whoever….

AI Group 3

"You're All I Need To Get By" by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Von S - it’s ok but he’s got some control issues because he overpowers himself easily. I can’t look at him though. Like the screaming Squirrel in that commercial where the car is careening down the road and everyone is screaming including the crazy-looking wife…

Taylor V - "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys
she’s the oldest looking 18yr old I’ve ever seen. Yeah, not crazy good but good.

Alex W/T - "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" by Elton John
Kd – I was all psyched for this guy but now I gotta say, WTF was that? Ugh.

Arianna A - "The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA
ohhhh that was baaaadddd…she lost the pitch at the beginning, couple of cracks, and that was it…noooo waaayyy

Junot J - "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's
I don’t know why anyone would sing this song. It’s about somebody being stalked basically and he’s gonna try to turn it into some soft r&b thing. I hated it.

Kristen - "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman
all the clothing was kinda bizarre. My grandmother woulda picked that outfit for me. I can sing that song. It was good but I’m not THAT impressed.

Nate M - "I'd Do Anything For Love" by Meatloaf
I loved his grandmother’s less than enthusiastic response… she’s “used to his music”. Yeah, like I’ve gotten used to having cramps once a month. This was a horror show. If Meatloaf was dead, he’d turn over in his grave.

Felicia B - "No One" by Alicia Keys
now I am intrigued by why they called her…hmmm….but it was eh. I hate this song too.

Scott M - "Mandolin Rain" by Bruce Hornsby
DK: It's hard to hate on the blind guy but this was just an ave performance
Kd – I don’t think it’s hatin’ and I agree. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I don’t want him to keep getting through on sympathy.

Kendall B - "This One's For The Girls" by Martina McBride
I don’t like Martina Mc Bride – man this is NOT my night! – and this girl…I’ll pass

Jorge N - "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John
there’s something mildly pathetic about Jorge and he makes you want to root for him. He actually sounded very good when I heard this on the radio. Why is it that people get so excited when someone sings this song?

Lil R - "Be Without You" by Mary J. Blige
I like Lil but don’t know how far she will make it. I don’t know if she’s versatile enough, soft enough, just like I like my jammies – versatile and soft! Yeah!

On to the wildcard!