How do you say Happy Birthday? With shrimp and cheesecake, of course.

Feb 19th is Bruce's birthday, and with that comes the custom-made birthday dinner. Whatever you want, your wish is my command, the reply to which was "I don't care". Ugh. What is with people?! Lily asked for "some kind of pasta and strawberry ice cream" and this is "I don't care". You all are no help. Or is this some kind of message that you don't actually want me to cook? Well, too bad. That leaves me with carte blanche for dinner, so what shall I do? Bruce's normal birthday dinner would be either Hot Browns or Fettucine Alfredo with scallops, but I decided to pull out a couple of recipes that I had saved in my to-do list: a pasta and shrimp with a lemon cream sauce, asparagus, Caesar salad, and Junior's Cheesecake.

I got the shrimp recipe from the My Mommy Style website for angel hair pasta and shrimp with a lemon cream sauce. Really quite simple and I'm a sucker for lemon anything. Yes, yes I know it's not MY birthday, but, and I quote, "I don't care". So, lemon cream it is!

There's not very many ingredients, which is good. I always have multiple kinds of pasta and garlic and Parmesan cheese on hand, just had to get the shrimp and heavy cream. Prep? Pretty much none - I crushed garlic. I used medium shrimp (about 30 shrimp per pound), deveined and tails off. While you boil the pasta, the garlic gets sauteed in butter, then with the shrimp, and then add in your lemon juice and zest, then finally the cream and Parmesan cheese. It's not unlike how I make my alfredo sauce - it's not a thick goopy thing. It's butter, cream and parmesan cheese, salt & white pepper as you like. And yes, you can saute in some garlic with that if you like when you start melting your butter. So this sauce is relatively light, even for having rich ingredients. Even though I like to use as few pans as humanly possible, I would recommend sauteeing your shrimp & garlic separately from making the sauce. Shrimp cooks very quickly, and a minute or two over, you have these tough little shrunken shrimp circles. Just use a little extra butter (you've already used heavy cream so what's a few more tablespoons of butter) and do the shrimp last. The kids went crazy for it, including Abby who watched me make the sauce and yelled "no don't do that!" when I added the lemon. I would also say - start with one lemon and check your flavor, add more if you like - you can always add more, but you can't take it away, right?

On to dessert: The famous Junior's Cheesecake.

What is Junior's you ask? Junior's is a New York institution that I have never had the opportunity to visit (mostly because I've never gone outside of the NYC limits and the place is actually in Brooklyn) - a restaurant around since the 50's known for their meatloaf, and sandwiches, but mainly for their cheesecake:

The crust isn't really a crust, it's actually a layer of spongecake, and the cheesecake itself is a traditional New York-style - thick and heavy and somewhat dry. They also have a strawberry version, with this macaroon crumb that is pressed into the sides. Once upon a time, I had their cookbook, but the cheesecake recipe was just so labor-intensive, and so were the rest of the recipes, frankly, that I gave the cookbook away. And then I was sorry, because I so wanted to make that cheesecake. It has been like some kind of my own Everest - I knew someday that I had to do it. First I needed to find the recipe again, which luckily is no longer a trade secret. It's right here! I decided I would make the fresh strawberry cheesecake (it's in the pic with the recipe when you click on the link). I had everything for the sponge layer, I had heavy cream for the filling already, and for the macaroon crumb, the jellies for the glaze. I just needed 2 lbs of cream cheese and strawberries for the top. Note that the recipe calls for the real deal. I usually buy the lower fat content neufchatel with no issues using it in baked goods, but I figured I better follow the directions explicitly for the authentic cake.

I wanted the cake to be ready for about 7pm, so backtracking my time for finishing, cooling, etc., I started cooking around 9 - 9:30am. Got the springform pan ready - buttered and covered the bottom and up the sides of the pan with foil. Why? Since the pan was buttered, I didn't want any of the butter (or cake batter that was coming) to start leaking through the bottom. Also the cheesecake was to be cooked in a water bath, so you need it for a barrier. Sponge layer was very easy, mixed entirely by hand. The filling was easy also, the key being to add ingredients slowly and mix slowly as well. If you try to whip it up, you end up with little lumps of cheesecake that don't smooth out. Pan went in its water bath (hot water in a roasting pan) to cook for 1 hour & 15 minutes. I took a look around the one hour mark and the top of the cheesecake looked fairly tan. Hmph. I shook the pan and touched the top a lightly. It's supposed to jiggle just a little - the cheesecake is so dense that it will continue to hold heat and cook a bit after it comes out of the oven; heavy cheesecakes take a very long time to cool. Cook it in the oven too long and while it's cooling, you'll likely get a giant crack in the top. In another 15 minutes, the top was very brown, and it seemed the center seemed about right. I did not like how dark the top was, but I took it out and started the cooling process.

In the meantime I made the coating, which I sort-of had half done - I already had some toasted chopped pecans, and they happened to have a little bit of chocolate in it (that's just a happy accident), so I just toasted some coconut and chopped it and added it.

When the cake was done cooling, it had shrunk down a little but ok. I put the crumb coating and sliced the strawberries and made the glaze. The kids could not wait to get that cake out and have some. (Here comes terrible pic)

We cut into it and... it wasn't properly done. I was so disappointed. The top was really browned and the inside was not dry and dense.. instead it was kind of wet and dense. Thoroughly cooked but more of a creamy cheesecake, not the iconic New York-style that I was really hoping for. I am not happy.

Verdict:

Shrimp recipe - definitely would make again - super simple, fast, everyone loved it. In fact I'd double it - we had enough for dinner and lunch, but the leftovers were a fight of who would get it, and who got the most, and no fair, you had more than I did, yada, yada. That's a good thing.

Cheesecake - I'm so sad. A ton of work for a crappy cake. I'm thinking that I need to replace my oven thermometer so I can double-check it. Did I overmix the batter? I don't know. The spongecake later for the crust is excellent and this one had a slightly lemony flavor (strictly from extract)but it was very nice. Everyone ate the cheesecake anyway and really liked it.

Bruce was sick as a dog, had a really long day, and made his way through dinner and dessert graciously when all he wanted to do was lie down. He and the kids are still eating it graciously; they think it's fine. But I don't think it's fine, and the guilt over his lackluster birthday cake is driving me to make a new proper one and redeem myself. I won't use the Junior's recipe, but one from my "Joy of Cheesecakes" cookbook. (Yes, I love cheesecake so much that my aunt got me a cheesecake-only cookbook for one of my birthdays.) Somehow, I don't think anyone will mind putting up with the burden of eating a new cheesecake.

Chim-Chim-e-ney, Chim-Chim-e-ney, Chimichurri

At this point, I'm attacking my backlog of reviews in no particular order, except for today's, which is what we actually had for dinner today (2/17). I was lucky enough to find flank steak on sale at the grocery store (and even more lucky that there were two left in the store), and so I pulled out this recipe from "How Sweet it is" that I had saved for just such an occasion: Garlic Brown Sugar Flank Steak with Chimichurri, and can I just say, "Chimichurri, where have you been all my life?!"

What a thing of beauty. And it's a dinner recipe. It's really easy to find yourself drowning in dessert recipes, and I had been waiting for any dinner recipe that did not include copious amounts of enticing bubbly golden cheese on top, and here this gem showed up. Awesome! My kids also love steak, so that's a bonus. The dogs do too, but no bonus for them.

The recipe is really simple - marinate the steak, cook it, serve with sauce. The marinade couldn't be easier, and you probably have the ingredients in your pantry already: olive oil, brown sugar, garlic, salt & pepper. Mix up, slather on, put in refrigerator however long you like. No problem - mix it all up in my trusty old pyrex measuring cup. The consistency of the marinade is like a paste of sugar and garlic, so it makes it easy to really cover the steak evenly. Moving on the phase 2: the chimichurri.

I've heard about chimichurri a million times; it seems to be rather popular on Top Chef lately. While the steak was marinating I made it, another super-easy recipe, extra easy if you have a food processor: fresh cilantro, parsley, oregano, garlic, olive oil, red wine vinegar, red pepper flakes, s&p. Whip it up, just like you're making pesto (people who make pesto will understand). Now, this recipe makes a lot of chimichurri - a little more than 8oz., but you can refrigerate it, or freeze it, and trust me when I say you can't eat that much. It packs a punch - you've got raw garlic and hot red pepper flakes, for starters. It's loaded with fresh cilantro, which couldn't make me happier; I LOVE cilantro. I did not use fresh oregano. I didn't want as much as was called for in the recipe, so I increased both the cilantro and parsley, and instead added some dried oregano (about 1/2 tbsp). I made the whole thing in my food processor, rinsed out the pyrex measuring cup, and poured it in there for the time being (and saved using another container).

I marinated the steak for about 3 hours, after which I took off the marinade (just scraped it off with a spoon) and put the steak on my broiler pan. While the steak broiled to a nice medium, flipping halfway through, I made some rice and broccoli; something kind of mild to counter-act the chimichurri.


Thirty minutes cooking time, and dinner is served! I will say that although a flank steak is a great cut for grilling and broiling, rather lean, but very juicy and a nice texture (also good for stir fry), the marinade really didn't impart much flavor. Now, you're going to say "well, you scraped it off, lady". Yes, I did. The recipe did not say whether or not to do that, but in my infinite wisdom, I decided to do that because it is usually not good to either grill or broil something that has that much sugar on it. It would be much too easy to for all that sugar, and the garlic, to burn before the meat was done. Why did I not use the scraped off marinade as a glaze to add right at the end a la bbq sauce? Because I think that's gross, it's been sitting all over raw meat and then you're going to put it on top of cooked? I'm not. Also, the chimichurri has a fair amount of raw garlic in it, and you really didn't need extra in the meal anywhere else. The chimichurri is the beautiful green color, with nice fresh herbs, and is so yummy. In the short time that it sat, the garlic really got stronger and so did the red pepper. Connor loved the smell of it and kept coming back just to sniff it, but of course had his steak with "blue ranch dip" a.k.a. bleu cheese dressing. It is an intense flavor for kids, unless they're used to that. I find in general, kids don't go for a big hit of garlic in any foods. And I also found that they really don't like the smell of the sauce that lingers with you while you're reading to them about 2 hours later. Do NOT have this while on a romantic date, or if you are hoping for any kind of romance later that day, or in the next couple of days. I also think mine should have been a little more substantial body-wise. I would have started with about half of the vinegar and oil that the recipe called for and gone from there, make the acid level what you like, and the oil to herb ratio as thick or thin as you want.

Verdict:
Would I make the steak and marinade again? Yes and No. I would use that cut of meat again, fo' sure. The marinade was superfluous - if you are serving chimichurri, there is absolutely no need for it - too much garlic, and I wouldn't use it without the chimichurri since it didn't really flavor the meat. Would I make chimichurri again? Hell ya. It's awesome, goes with anything, and keeps so you can make a bit and freeze if you like. I found some information here on what you can do with some extra sauce: "Five Ways to Use Chimichurri Sauce". I'm sure there's a lot of info if you just do a quick web search. I am thinking of using the rest of this one as a pizza sauce with the leftover steak and maybe some parm or something.

So I highly recommend the sauce and the cut of meat, but skip the marinade - no need. And you can read the post with the recipe link from the beginning of this post, which pretty much says the same, and enthusiastically extols the virtues of the fab sauce that you'll be sorry you didn't make.

But please invest in some mints. Your friends and family will thank you.

Duff Disaster

I love Christmas, and I hate Christmas. I love Santa, the yearning to live in a fantasy Currier & Ives scene, imagining that I could have my house decorated by Martha Stewart, that I'd cook hundreds of wonderful things, but mostly that my kids would have the best Christmas ever. I love shopping and I hate shopping - there's a million things I want to get, and it's completely overwhelming, and sometimes despite planning, I leave a store because I panic. I love cooking and I hate cooking - I so want to do it and then I've bitten off more than I can chew (no pun intended) and I cry because for the 4th time, I've gone to the grocery store and come home with nothing I needed for that certain recipe. I love seeing people, and I hate it, I have to psych myself up to leave the house, because sometimes I just can't. And to boot, I have two girls with birthdays right up against it, so I can add on the need for two more best birthdays ever. The build up is huge - the planning and shopping, agonizing over whether things are good enough, freaking out over money spent, and then it's over. And I have convinced myself that I have been a failure. That it wasn't good enough. I didn't have a wonderful open house, with a beautifully decorated home, perfect tree, lovely foods and warm mulled cider to serve with tons of homemade goodies. No, I have a messy house, half-done tree, dogs that get completely wigged out by people and don't behave (so please don't be insulted when I don't invite you over), and still worried about how much everything cost and whether it was good enough. I probably would think it wasn't good enough, even if it were perfect. Then the birthdays: I get completely confused over what gifts I bought for Christmas vs birthday, and thought I knew where they all were but then can't find some, no wrapping paper, etc. But, one of the things I do (ironically for my own self-redemption and a further attempt at creating the best-ever day) for everyone's birthday is make whatever the birthday person wants for a meal, including for dessert/cake. This year, my New Year's (Jan 4th, close enough) baby, turning 14, responded to my request for what she wanted on her menu in typical teen fashion being purposely annoying, "some kind of pasta with cheese, and strawberry ice cream". That's it. What? No, for crying out loud. So I figured out the dinner part, and dessert I decided that I was going to get one of those cool Duff mixes I've seen at the store, the zebra striped one - she'll love it! Little did I know it would be horrifying...

You've probably seen Duff Goldman - makes funky cakes, bakery in Baltimore. He was the crazy cake guy on tv until Buddy Valastro, a.k.a. the Cake Boss, showed up. I am pretty sure his show isn't on anymore, but he's on a store shelf near you: Stop & Shop, Target, etc., with all kinds of products: cake mix, fondant, sprinkles. And he even sells pans and other accessories on his website, duff.com. So I decided on the zebra cake.

What you can't see from this picture, is that the front says "makes 1 (one) 9 inch cake", and then on the back of the box, the instructions say to prepare ONE cake pan. One. You are not going to yield a two-layer 9 inch cake, you are never going to make a cake that looks remotely like what's on the package, so I get 2 boxes. I also do not want to roll fondant - I wanted a bright green frosting and don't like to make frosting, so instead I got a Pillsbury frosting I've never seen before, from a line of "Funfetti" frostings

Looks cool, right? Bright green with blue, green, yellow, and black sprinkles. Love it.

On the directions, you need two mixing bowls - one for the chocolate cake mix, one for the white. Stands to reason. So I prepare my completely normal 9" round cake pans and get to work. Easy to mix, nothing special about that, and then this neat technique of creating co-centric circles of cake batter, alternating chocolate and white. You're supposed to use a toothpick or something to gently swirl the batter. That wasn't so simple since the white and chocolate cakes are different, but I can't be worried about that, so onward. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, make two! Cakes in oven, set the timer, and wait.

About halfway through the cooking time, I'm smelling some really aromatic cake. Normally, you're pretty close to done with baked items when you start getting a fairly strong, yummy smell coming from the kitchen. This is really way too early. I'm curious so I go take a peek. OH MY GOD! These cakes are bubbling and flowing over the pans like Mount Vesuvius, and cake batter is going all over the oven. What the !?!??! So I grab my biggest cookie sheet and put it on the rack below to catch anymore dripping, and praying that it stops soon, shut the oven door and wait.

The timer goes off for what should be the end, or close to the end of baking, but the cake's not done...it's still raw in the middle. Back in the oven for 5 more minutes. Check it - raw- back again. I continue this until we're bumping up on an hour baking cakes that should have been done in about 30 minutes. At one point I had to cover the cake with foil because it was browning a lot, too much on the edges, and that didn't help. It was finally done pretty much at the one hour mark, and I took it out, put it on a cooling rack. Then another dilemma - do I try to get it them out of the pans while they're a little warm, or wait until they're completely cool? Duff doesn't say and it's about 9pm. I'll wait! Again.

Morning comes and the cakes do not magically release from the pans. Oh I see... the cake that flowed over the sides is locking the cake into the pan. No prob, I'll cut it away. Still not out... alright-y then. The edges appear to be released from the sides, but just in case, I'll run a knife around. Still not coming out. Well, my next theory is that the kitchen gets really cold, and maybe overnight the grease used to coat the pans has gotten cold also and is just acting like glue, so I warm the bottoms very slightly and... they're out! And guess what?! In the middle of each cake where, incidentally, you pour the cake mixes on top of each other repeatedly, it's completely undercooked! Like, don't eat it undercooked. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Why?! These cakes, the baked parts, are also sooo soft that they are falling apart completely in my hands.

This is already looking untenable, but in order to frost, I need to refrigerate or even freeze them. I decided to go the freezer route (quicker), and cross my fingers.

When the cakes come out of the freezer, they are not different! They're just turning into crumbs while I look at them. So what do I do now? I could crumble them and make the world's ugliest cake balls by combining the cake with the green frosting. No! Ick! I will make a valiant effort at frosting them. It was just awful. It couldn't be done. As you pulled the frosting around the side, it would just grab the cake and continue to decimate it. I got angry. Really angry at this cake. When no one was looking, I used my beautiful, large icing spatula, to...well, hack it up. I was so mad at the cake, and at my incompetence at cake decorating. I never like to throw food out but this piece had to go, and not just because of my taking out my rage on it. Even without that, there was nothing to this layer, it was actually embarrassing to look at. So I try cake number two -

it looks not quite as bad, but I cry over not having this cute cake for Lily that I wanted to make her. I feel so bad - I can't give her this cake! It's so awful! And Bruce would not let me throw the second one out! I ran to the grocery store and got a back-up pretty cake from the bakery.

So what went wrong? Here's my theory:
The chocolate part of the cake was like a normal chocolate cake, BUT the white part was like a chiffon. Problem - two different densities and two just plain old different cakes. You start off with the chocolate batter, and alternate with the white. You are constantly putting one on top of the other, and letting in spread out in circles. The problem is that when chiffon cakes cook, they get really fluffy. They rise more than a traditional cake batter. And here you have the two mixed, hence blowing up and over the sides of the pan. A 9" springform pan would have stopped the overflow, but not sure if it would help with the rawness. I think you'd still have some undercooked cake there because there were two different kinds of cake batter: thick and not so thick. Parchment in the bottom of any cake pan can help with release, and would have here for sure.

Upside:
I learned how to do the zebra cake, so I never have to buy this Duff mix again. Incidentally, it's very easy to find instruction on making a zebra cake by just a simple web search. Here's a pretty cool cake tutorial. The cakes were, however, very delicious, and the inside was totally zebra-y. It just looked like it was attacked by wolverines. [Side note: I've seen people have pretty good luck with the tie-dye, so maybe that will work for you if you wanted to try a Duff mix.]

When it was time to light the birthday candles, I asked Lily to choose which cake to put the candles in: Ugly Duff or Pretty Store. She picked the Ugly Duff. When she had a piece, we laughed about how dreadful it looked, and she said she could "taste the love". And we laughed again. And everyone ate both cakes. I guess although Duff was a disaster, the dinner itself wasn't ruined, Lily was happy, and that finally made me happy.

The end.

P.S. Two days later I discovered the frosting lid containing the sprinkles I completely forgot to put on the cake. Brilliant.

Coffee-Meringue Acorns, 2013 Christmas (win!) cookie

So after the Christmas wreck that was the Jam Diamonds, completely disheartened, tired, running out of time, I still decided I'd make that last cookie: Coffee-Meringue Acorns. They have everything that would make them awesome:

a) I could make them tiny
b) Coffee flavor - who doesn't like that in New England?
c) plus Chocolate
d) plus pistachios and/or pecans
e) meringues are pretty easy
f) they're Martha's recipe!

Note: If you are allergic to eggs... just wait for another post, because meringues are definitely not for you.

If you haven't ever had a meringue, you should. They are lovely - crispy on the outside, light and soft on the inside. Or let them cook longer and have them crispy all the way through, and when you bite them they just melt. (I think that's the way to go, personally, although not traditional.) If you've never made them, and presuming you like to bake otherwise why would you be here, you should. They really are easy - egg whites and sugar is all it is. You whip to the desired consistency, and voila - meringue. Someday, I will introduce you to the Pavlova or the meringue-topped pie, or maybe some meringue-based icings, but today - the meringue cookie.

What special things you need to make these - a whisk, as a mixer attachment, or attached to a really strong arm, parchment paper, and time.

This recipe makes a lot. Really a lot. Three egg whites and you've got 100 meringues. I don't need 100, so how am I going to divide this? I decide to base my recipe on 1 egg white, and reduce the rest of the ingredients by 2/3rds, and I'll have around 30 or so little bitty bites. I have a large stand mixer, so I crossed my fingers that it would be able to whip up just 1 egg white. Why wouldn't it, you ask? Because the bowl is slightly conical, and the whisk is almost heart-shaped, ending with one loop on the bottom, which is essentially all that will make contact with the bottom of the bowl and the tiny bit of (room temperature - it's important!) white in there, but the worst that can happen? I start over with 2 whites and have twice as much as I was hoping for. I can live with that.

So I read the ingredients and..."1 1/2 teaspoons Trablit coffee extract (available at culinarydistrict.com) or 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract". Great - some fancy extract I'd have to order? So what do I do... I remember seeing coffee extract at the store - yay!- because I'm sure the alternative would be ridiculously priced, and not in my kitchen within the day. In fact... hold on.... it's 3oz for about $14 (I just looked it up). It's about the same as the McCormick actually, however, I don't need to go to Los Angeles to get the McCormick. I think I know which I should get. And yes, I realize that you are saying "but this says you can also use vanilla extract". Yeah but that's not the point considering what drew me to the recipe was the title promising "Coffee-meringue". By the way, I should say that one of the beautiful things about meringues - flavor them however you want. This says coffee or vanilla, but you could use peppermint, spearmint, coconut, lemon, maple.. anything. And if you're feeling fun, some food coloring is great too. I wouldn't use food coloring with this since using the coffee extract turns the meringue a very light tan color, all on its own. Vanilla extract will also take away from the stark whiteness, but if you like, you can buy clear vanilla extract to keep the very white color (and not just for egg whites - can use it for cake batters, icings, etc.; Wilton sells it and you can get it at Michaels).

Now here's a little something about me that you may or may not know - if there is a way to screw up a recipe - I will find it and do it. I consider this to be a service to all potential recipe users, because then when I totally f*** something up (yes, I get that angry that the f-bombs may fly if small children are not around), I can tell you what went wrong and how I fixed it, or alternatively, didn't. I made it through labs in college that way: students there until 2am to get an experiment right? Suckers! I just did it, and when it was wrong, I wrote a report about what went wrong and why. My professors loved it and so did I because I was tired and was not going to stay at that hideous place for a single nanosecond more than was necessary. And now, I employ that same logical thinking and troubleshooting to my cooking, to help you all. You're welcome!

If you haven't guessed, that was a segue to the part where I never noticed it said I was going to cook everything in a double boiler before whipping. What a friggin' pain. It also does not make me happy to add an extra pan to the equation. I map out my pan and utensil use carefully so that I only use the very least number of items possible... but....brainstorm! The eggs whites are already in my stand mixer bowl, it's stainless steel... voila: saucepan with water simmering, mixer bowl is now the top of the double-boiler. AND I will stir while simmering with the mixer's whisk, for no extra utensil. Genius! Not totally screwed up, but close call.

Once your whites are all whipped and fluffy and shiny and pretty, it's pastry bag time. Again, I did all the cake decorating class crap and I have gel dyes, a thousand different tips, couplings, plastic pastry bags, know how to make a pastry bag out of parchment, but you know what I'm using? A ziploc bag. I do not want to get out a single extra item (remember it's Christmas Eve and I've been making cookies for 2 days). Put the stuff in a ziploc bag and cut about 1/2" off a bottom corner of the bag. Ta-da! Pastry bag! The tip Martha was calling for is just a smooth round tip, so the bag will do. And it does - popping out little meringues just like in the picture, like little "kiss" shapes. Into the oven and now... we wait.

And wait.

And wait. Meringues take time. Crisp meringues sit in the oven at a low temp, for quite a while. It's just how it is. And Martha says this should take about an hour, to crisp on the outside and pulls off the parchment easily. Only she lied. My meringues stayed in the oven for a little over 2 hours before being able to lift off the parchment and have the nice crisp on the outside. My cookie sheets are insulated so things don't crisp on the bottom how I would like (I will never buy another one of those sheets and I have 3...ugh). I would even like them to be kind of dry and crisp all the way through, but that can take a very very very long time. Typically, they are a little moist on the inside.

They cool really quickly and the next part is beyond easy - melt some chocolate, chop some nuts (and toast them if you like), and dip away. I used pecans and did toast them, which takes all of 10 minutes. I put my dipped meringues on some waxed paper to set, and prayed desperately that I had the willpower not to eat them all before they even made it to the storage container.

About storing - Martha says that "Meringues can be made 5 days ahead and stored in a cool, dry place at room temperature." I baked these on Christmas Eve, dipped them Christmas morning, put them in an airtight container for travel, and they were fine Christmas afternoon. After that, they were, to borrow a chemistry term (because I can't help that) rather hygroscopic; they pick up moisture from the air and get sticky and start imploding a bit. It doesn't matter really - the flavor is so nice... very subtle coffee with the chocolate and nuts - very yum.

There's tons of meringue recipes and really, try one. If it seems intimidating to try whipping egg white and getting that right, it's not! Just try it. Don't have some kind of way to decoratively extrude on a cookie sheet - so what, use a spoon. You can make them big, they'll just need to cook longer. As I mentioned at the beginning, someday we'll discuss a Pavlova which is a giant, divine meringue pillow. And EASY!

So I can add Martha's picture of these little delights, because mine really looked very much like this. I fully recommend trying it.



Coming soon - what happens when professional chefs go commercial.

Cream-cheese Jam Ice Diamonds... 2013 Christmas cookie (fiasco) #1

Let me start by saying that for as long as I can remember, I have unabashedly worshiped Martha. Yes, Martha Stewart, the Queen of All Things. I have subscribed to her magazine, watched her show, purchased her products, absorbed Martha in every way. I want to be Martha. There, I've said it, and I don't care who knows it!!

The most glorious magazines every year are the Thanksgiving and Christmas issues. There are also separate cookie issues (sometimes), and those are keepers. As always, this year, they did not disappoint, and given the chance to do some Christmas desserts, naturally this is where I went.

I wanted to make some tiny little cookies - just little bites, so people can belly up to the bar and try a bunch of different things without feeling like you're about to explode. I was already getting a platter of 3 dozen cookies from one of the local moms who has a home business making adorable cookies and cakes, so there were about 5 different selections of cookies and truffles there. I decided to add on 3 more - my go-to every year chocolate espresso snow caps [OH! I just had this idea about a different post with favorite recipes, so I'll tell you all about these later!], then these Cream-Cheese Jam Ice Diamonds,and then another meringue cookie that I'll do a separate post about. I chose the jam diamonds because I could make them small, and I've made Linzer cookies before, which I love, so I figured this should be pretty easy.

The original recipe yields 80 cookies. Yeah, I'm not making 80 cookies; I'll halve the recipe. And in the interest of time, I make the dough, and put it in the fridge to make the cookies the next day (Christmas Eve). Yay for me! Time management that I normally never use when preparing for any holiday or other event, and I'm doing it!

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, and I'm looking at this and thinking "sandwich cookie - make cookies, sandwich jam in-between". But no - this is Martha. Martha does nothing easily; it's part of the fun of doing Martha-things - a challenge! So I realize that this recipe goes through a series of dough rolling and chilling and freezing and filling and cutting and ... you get the idea. Ugh. Ok, whatever, I can do it.

First, make dough,divide in half, wrap and chill up to two days. Check. Second, roll out each half into rectangles and freeze 30 min. Check. Third, preheat oven, and take out your frozen rectangles, slather your jam on one, slap the other on top. Ok. Let it warm up enough to be firm, but able to cut. Yeah, here's where we have a problem. Now when I go to cut it, the dough slabs are sliding all over the place thanks to the jam slick between the two pieces, but I persist and come out with about 10 perfect diamonds, 20 vaguely symmetrical shapes, and some weird stuff that I like to call the "cook's pieces" because I do not want anyone respectable to see these, but I'm also not going to waste any food so I'll cook them. Oh but wait! I have to freeze them again until firm for 10 minutes. Check. Transfer them to a parchment-lined baking sheet and space 1" apart. Check. Freeze until firm 10 more minutes - wait, what? Seriously? Screw it - if they've gone from firm to not firm by simply removing them from the freezer and putting them on a baking sheet, then screw it. I'm putting them in the damn oven which has been on and ready to cook these stupid cookies for like half an hour now.

Baking goes fine, cookies are done and yummy, they just look horrifying, but nothing that displaying them in a pile, putting the prettiest ones on top, and sprinkling generously (read: coating until unrecognizable) with confectioner's sugar can't help.

Here's what they're supposed to look like:

Yeah, but they didn't. Oh well. Next time I would just use a Linzer cookie recipe. I have one from Rosie's Bakery, but here's one from Ina Garten who happens to be an FoM (long-time Friend of Martha). For the kind of cookie they are they are just way too time-consuming for me.

Next up: 2013 Christmas cookie (winner!) #2

Italian Lemon Cream Cheese Cake (a.k.a. Olive Garden copy-cat)

Italian Lemon Cream Cheese Cake recipe


I have been to Olive Garden approximately... once. I did not have dessert, so that was not my motive in making this cake. My actual motive(s):


1. I originally saw a recipe for an Italian Lemon Cream Cheese Cake and I thought it was pretty.
2. I love Lemon desserts
3. I love cheesecake
4. I was providing a dessert for Christmas dinner at my sister's house (the hostess with the most-est)

I quickly came to find that this was indeed NOT a creamy cheesecake, but a cream-cheese[space bar] cake. Eh, who cares? It's a lemon dessert so that's good enough for me. I started searching for similar recipes to see how this compared to different ones, and I found the Olive Garden version, and I just chose it because it seemed simpler and I needed to be efficient with my cooking time.

This was easy enough - starting with a box mix. I don't mind making my own cake, but this wasn't the only thing I was making, and I always underestimate how long things are going to take, so I decided this was the way to go.

Then I made the lemon cream cheese filling - easy beans. Put it in the fridge to save for later.

The recipe also calls for a crumb topping. Okay. But wait... it's made with flour and butter and...raw? I thought about it for a while, and all I could imagine in my mind was the taste of raw flour. I decide to nix that. It looks tasty, but I read a bunch of reviews, and no one seemed to think that was very good, so I'm going to trust my instincts and skip it.

I put the cake in the fridge after cooling, and decided I'd take care of this all the next day (Christmas Eve), since this was two days before I needed it.

Now let me say that even though I've done the multiple "levels" of the Wilton cake decorating course, and have done all kinds of piping and flower making, BUT I am the WORST at simply frosting a cake. I mean truly horrible, like a 3 year old iced the cake. But this one came out awesome! It was the best I ever did. Now, that's not to say it was beautiful, but compared to my standard product? I actually heard a choir of angels, I swear. And it looked like the picture - whooo! Finished and back in fridge, done!

The moment of truth - taste time! Everyone thought the cake itself was wonderful (yeah, thanks it was from a box). The rest of it was good, but definitely not lemony enough. Just really creamy with the faintest hint of lemon. If I were to make it again, I would add some lemon zest, or more lemon flavor into the cake itself as well - maybe some juice or just a little extract. If I'm going to have a dessert that's billed as lemon, I want lemon dammit! This just wasn't enough for me.

Was it good? Yes - creamy, not heavy, and Betty Crocker makes a fine white cake. Will I make this again? Nah. It's just not a recipe worthy of saving; I'm sure there's better out there. For all the work, it's just average. If this is what the cake at Olive Garden tastes like, don't waste your cash.

Onto the next!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Disclaimer - I have no clue what this is going to look like. I haven't been here in quite a while, and Blogger has changed so this could really be weird display-wise. Advance apologies. So, I thought I'd come back to my 5 followers, and start some posting again. Mostly because I have this constant running script in my head and talk to myself and figured "what a waste! All my fantastic ramblings are not going on paper!" Yes, I am a prolific and wealthy author in my own mind. Anyway, I like to cook, and bake, and spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and lately on Facebook there are a lot of recipes that are getting posted from all over the place. I've been trying them and commenting, and I feel it is my duty to let people know if it was any good or not. I did start this blog with some posts about cooking and such, so it's kind of going back to my original idea. Maybe I'll come up with a rating system, and I promise that I'll post a link of the recipe itself. And I'll do each as a separate post. So let's go back to where I left off....